我感覺自己沒有用，很自卑。希望有和我一樣的人和我談談

「君子動口不動手」這句話聽過沒有？
連古人也有此做人態度，作為二十一世紀的現代人，
怎麼可以動不動就打架？
和別人發生衝突，你就應該跟他理論，
若對方無理取鬧，甚至企圖用暴力，你就更要強硬起來，
不過不是跟他打架，而是用最簡單直接的方法，就是報警！
要面對衝突，一定要靠拳頭嗎？
「精人用口、笨人出手」聽過沒有？
用你的口才來對付橫蠻無理的人方為上策！
上天是公平的，暴力人物都有一共通的弱點：就是不擅辭令、表達能力低、
意氣用事、衝動、頭腦簡單的人！
正因為這樣，他們才會選擇用暴力；
他們四肢發達，卻頭腦簡單，他們沒有選擇的餘地，只可用暴力來面對衝突。
「精人用口、笨人出手」；
「智者用頭腦、愚者用拳頭」。不是嗎？
用計謀、用智慧、用你冷靜的頭腦來對付這種暴力人物吧！
聽過韋小寶嗎？他雖然不擅長打架，但他有一個冷靜聰明的頭腦。
每次他和別人發生衝突，打不贏別人時，他只耍點花樣就輕易胡混過關，不是嗎？
他是一個很好例子，還有更多好例子，
歷代的先賢、偉人、名人，他們有如此光輝的成就，是靠拳頭嗎？
當然不是，他們靠什麼才有如此光輝的成就？
是靠智慧、靠經驗、靠實力。他們當中有多少是擅長打架的？恐怕寥寥可數，
國父孫中山擅長打架嗎？林肯喜歡打架嗎？
難道他們靠拳頭才成名嗎？難道他們也要自卑嗎？
就算真的有部分先賢偉人擅長打架，他們也不喜歡打架，
不喜歡動不動就用拳頭解決問題。
就算曾經用拳頭解決問題，都是用在有意義的事情上，武術家霍元甲是很好的例子，
他擅長武術，但他卻不是暴力人物，他愛好和平，他以德服人，而不是用拳頭服人。
為了維護中國人的尊嚴，他才跟俄國大力士比試。他每次出手背後的意義都是重大的，
他不仗著自己的武功而似勢凌人，而是用自己的武功來幫助有需要的人，
武功不是用來耀武揚威、更不是用來欺負人，而是用來幫助有需要的人，用來提升個人修養。
只有沒有修養的人，才會仗著自己的武功來欺負人。
像霍元甲的武術家還有更多的例子：黃耆英、黃飛鴻、李連杰...
再者，歷代的暴力人物有多少是流芳百世的？一個也沒有！
他們不是臭名遠播，就是遺臭萬年。不是嗎？
所以，你跟本不用自卑，自卑是多餘的，自卑簡直是庸人自擾、自尋煩惱，
若果你認為你自卑是合理的話，那麼，歷代的先賢、偉人、名人通通都要自卑了！可笑嗎？


2009-11-09 07:40:47 補充：
「智者用頭腦、愚者用拳頭」。胡亂使用武力不能服眾。
這句話不但可以用在人際關係上，還可以用在國際關係上。
美國是一個很好的例子，眾所周知，美國乃軍事强國，美國軍力世界第一，
但當今世上，有多少國家是真正對美國口服心服的？ 恐怕屈指可數；
相反，正因為美國動不動就使用武力，而樹立了很多敵人，
不知有多少國家視美國為敵人，不是嗎？
美國是當今世上軍力最强的，但同時亦是當今世上最多敵人的國家。
動不動就使用武力的人是不受歡迎的，武力不能解決問題，只會擴大問題，
暴力只會招惹更多敵人。不是嗎？
黑道中人泰龍很好打，一個打十個，但他的下場是什麼？

2009-11-09 13:02:38 補充：
So... violence can not solve any problem. Violence can just make the situation
even worse than before. If anyone attempt to use any form of violence,
then the only consequence is just creation of more enemies for himself/herself.

2009-11-09 13:03:20 補充：
Are you not keen on playing football or basketball? If no, then... so what?
Not keen on playing football or basketball does NOT imply that
you are a totally useless or weak person.
Playing football or basketball is just one of the criterias to indicate the quality
of a person. BUT NOT ALL. Right?

2009-11-09 13:08:23 補充：
Basketball is just nothing. Former HKUST president Dr Chu is not keen on
playing basketball, but he is a great Scientist.

2009-11-09 13:08:38 補充：
The Nobel prize winner Dr Yang, Dr Lee, Dr Gao...etc are NOT keen on playing
basketball. The greatest Scientist Einstein in the 20th century is NOT keen
on playing basketball. So... you can see that there are so many high quality
people who are not keen on playing basketball.

2009-11-09 13:09:00 補充：
I don't like basketball, but I am expert on playing archery(射箭) and rifle (步槍).
I am expert on debate(辯論) as well.
I have participated many debates in the past and defeated lot of people.
Interestingly, most of the those people defeated by me are expert on playing basketball.

2009-11-09 13:13:56 補充：
Besides, I have participated free fight (自由搏擊) by three times in the past.
In these competitions, I have defeated all the competitors.
Very interestingly, almost half of them are keen on playing football or basketball.

2009-11-09 13:28:12 補充：
My boss and CEO of my company are NOT keen on playing basketball,
but they earn lot of money. Some of my high school classmates are strong on
playing basketball or football, but they are now unemployed and are forced to
obtain financial aid (綜合援助) from the government.

2009-11-09 13:44:04 補充：
Last week, one of my high school classmates requested me to borrow
some money for him because he is now unemployed. He is so poor
such that he has no money to have any food. He had asked for help from
his friends but all of them had rejected his request.

2009-11-09 13:44:18 補充：
Finally, I have lent him $1000 without charging him any interest.
I told him that he can pay me back the money at any time
once his financial situation has improved. He was so glad and deeply
impressed by my kindly assistance. As a result, he cried for almost
one hour before he could calm down.

2009-11-09 13:44:22 補充：
More importantly, he had won championship in a basketball competition
during his high school time. He is expert on playing basketball and was
leader of the basketball team in that time.

2009-11-09 13:55:59 補充：
Last night, he called me again. He told me that he had used up
that $1000 I lent him before, and so he had no money to have dinner.
I immediately lent him another $1000 and paid the dinner for him.

2009-11-09 13:56:02 補充：
He thanked me very very much. This time, he was deeply impressed
and cried for almost two hours before he could calm down.
I spent lot of effort to comfort him until he had stopped crying.

2009-11-09 22:58:34 補充：
As I mentioned before, he is keen on playing basketball.
Fifthteen minutes before, I had another telephone conversation with him.

2009-11-09 22:59:00 補充：
He told me that he had applied for more than ten jobs since last week, but none
of them is succeeded. I explained to him that a possible reason for his
failure is the fact that he has been unemployed for more than two years!

2009-11-09 22:59:19 補充：
As a result, he has become less and less competitive in the job market.
His emotion then immediately was out of control...
He started to cry very loudly as if he had become crazy...

2009-11-09 23:01:13 補充：
I spent three hours to comfort him until he had stopped crying.

2009-11-09 23:01:17 補充：
Finally I suggested him to further lower his expected salary so that
he would have higher chance to get employed. He immediately
accepted my suggestion and determined to lower his expected salary by 50%.
That is, from $15000 per month to $7500 per month.

2009-11-09 23:04:42 補充：
Sorry... typing mistake...
Referring to my answer posted at the time:
2009-11-09 22:58:36 補充
As I mentioned before, he is keen on playing basketball.
Fifthteen minutes before, I had another telephone conversation with him.

2009-11-09 23:05:30 補充：
There is a typing mistake in the answer above. It should be
"Four hours before" instead of "Fifthteen minutes before".

So... now I corrected it as below:
As I mentioned before, he is keen on playing basketball.
Four hours before, I had another telephone conversation with him.

2009-11-09 23:27:16 補充：
在下在小時候亦曾受過傷，不過不是骨折，而是十字韌帶斷裂，
此事發生在小學六年級時，先後動過兩次十字韌帶手術，足足十個月才徹底復原！

你還年輕,將來面對各重考驗,唔好輸比自己,要贏自己,人定勝天.
我相信你能夠做到

1) 踢足球 打籃球只系興趣 , 玩吾玩都得 !

吾好睇到件事甘大 !

吾做劇烈運動 , 咪做有意義活動 !

好似做義工甘 , 幫到人 , 自己又開心 , 系好有意義 !

2) 和別人發生衝突吾需要驚 :

一定吾可以怕事 , 吾可以比人蝦 ,

要講出自己不滿同意見 !

衝突吾一定要用手解決 ,

可以用口 ( 只要有道理就可以 )

你朋友家人會幫你 / 有需要時更可以報警 !

猶疑了很耐才答你的問題,不是因為你祇給 5 點,是害怕你看完我的故事,原本自卑的你更加自卑,〈開刀後留下後遺症,不能夠做劇烈運動〉,是否以後要坐輪椅或要用枴杖,還是要截肢呢? 97 年因為一宗意外,我的腳受了重傷,斷骨,甩骹,斷韌帶,半年時間進進出出醫院造了三次手術,〈你那些很濕碎,對嗎〉,兩年之內不能打籃球,兩年不能打籃球對於我來說就等如 20 年甚至 200 年〈直至現在我仍每星期打兩次籃球〉,因為我沒有放棄,在那裏倒下就要從那爬起身,今日我已經是一個教練.

打籃球做,運動是為了什麼,為了發生衝突是同人打交,你不應打籃球應該學自由博擊,在生理上做運動是為了強身健體,鍛練好身體可以面對將來的挑戰,在心理上是為加強自信心,鬥志,心理質數,面對未來的逆境,人生不如意事十常八,九,十,十一, 十二,這句說話聽過嗎?小小苦楚等於激勵,聽過嗎?

我答你的問題不是想你自卑,是希望你知道你的明天是靠今天的努力,從今日開始從新振作,祇有自卑本身才值得自卑.

為什麼你會覺得自卑?受傷不是你希望看到的事，誰說打籃球、踢足球才是男生?為什麼你害怕與人發生衝突的原因是因為你不能夠打架?所以你認為如果你沒有骨折，沒有後遺症，你就可以與人發生衝突並且可以打架?你不能夠這樣想的，不能打籃球、踢足球的確是很沒有乏味，但是，就只是這些可以做嗎?事情都已經發生了，為什麼你還要去介懷這些事情呢?不能打架就不是男生?這是什麼理論?做男生就一定要打架嗎?你放錯了問題的重點，不是因為你不能打架所以不去與人發生衝突，而是就算你很會打架都不應該與人發生衝突，如果人人互相之間都不停有衝突，你希望任何一方都要長待醫院或是像你一樣有後遺症嗎?

好吧，既然你不能打架所以害怕與人發生衝突，那麼你就必須學會如何去忍耐及發洩。就算你打架再利害也沒有用，社會需要的是一個人才而不是一個暴力者，當遇到困難時或有人惹是生非，你第一時間想到的不是用拳頭去解決，而是用你的知識去解決，有很多問題是需要你的智力去解決。而且，今後你將會遇到更多比因為有後遺症而不能打籃球、踢足球更難過的事，只有忍耐及忍讓，事情就會好多了，就是只懂得忍也是不健康的，你要找到一個發洩的渠道，不是只有做運動才可以發洩的。

所以，既然你的身體有了限制，那就唯有用你的腦袋去補救，球場上殺敵取勝的男生固然是吸引人欣賞，但有內涵的男生是更容易得到人的欣賞，只有豐富自己才能彌補不足。

如果家庭環境許可的話，你可以多參加不同的課外活動，學習樂器、參與義工服務等，世上還有很多不用做劇烈運動也可以參加的活動。假若你的家庭也不怎麼允許的話，只少你還可以多到圖書館看更多不同的知識，豐富自己的修養及知識，把自己的眼光放遠一點，不是只有做運動的才可以叫男生，不是每一個男生都有做運動的天賦，只要找到你的興趣和理想，有了屬於你的目標和夢想，你也可以成為耀眼的一個。

盡管你的身體有一些缺陷,這不是可以讓你放棄自己的理由!

那麼殘疾人士他們又可以怎去過活?

如果你覺得自己真的很沒用，感到很自卑。

那麼別人怎會看得起你?!

試下挺起胸膛做人!

你應該找你的相識的人傾下計並不是在一旁自怨自艾!

或者學一技之長,咁就唔會比人看不起你~