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2009-10-02 6:25 pm
This is a short reading report, please give me some comments as my secondary school teacher.(It'd better give a mark) Thx

“A phenomenon of property market in Tsuen Wan”

In the early May 2006, there was a phenomenon in Tsuen Wan property market. In the first week of May, there were many new units on sale, but the market feedback was not well, it led many backlogs appeared. Property Company believed that slash price as 30 percent can lure more homebuyers. Indeed, this movement makes all inventory of. Meanwhile, Other property companies made use of this opportunity and slashed its price as well.

It showed that Price is the main factor to affect homebuyers’ sentiment, because they are prudent and they know which price is more competitive. So long as new units price is not skyrocketing and near the second hand price, it is believed the sales of new units will be increased.

By the way, “this market are selling many new units, which some highlight on price while on quantity” The financial columnist said. Property market had too much information flowing that might confuse homebuyer to make a good decision.
更新1:

2. 這是我的原因: 由於市場反應唔好,所以(賣唔曬d貨)有存貨。 5. 應該是 property companies make an inventory of(慣用語:清倉) backlog by this action. 8因為我打錯左,應是 there are many homebuyers who some highlight on pricing while some on quantity

更新2:

Thanks to [email protected]

回答 (2)

2009-10-02 9:48 pm
✔ 最佳答案
1. 「there were many new units on sale」- 你的意思是減價 (on sale) 還是出售 (for sale)?

2. 「it led many backlogs appeared」第一,這應是一句獨立句子。第二,backlog 是不夠貨賣。何以 market feedback 不好反為導致 backlog?第三,led 後面應該有 to。

3. 「Property Company」- 是否真有一間公司叫做 Property Company?如果你想說一般的地產公司,便不應用大寫,而且 company 要用眾數。

4. 「believed that slash price as 30 percent 」- slash 要改為 slashing,as 是否應改為 by?

5. 「this movement makes all inventory of」- movement最好改為 action。但即使改了,仍然不知你想說甚麼。

6. 「slashed its price」- 前面說 Other property companies,這裡就應用眾數 their。

7. 「It showed that Price is the main factor to affect」- 第一,showed 改為 shows。第二,Price 為何無端端大寫?第三,main factor to affect 意思重疊。既然是 factor,當然會 affect!這跟很多人寫的港式英文「The reason is because...」無分別。都是多此一舉。

8. 「which some highlight on price while on quantity」- 不知是哪一個 financial columnist 說的。我才疏學淺,睇唔明。

9. 「confuse homebuyer to make a good decision」- 只有一個 homebuyer 受被 confuse?最好改為 confuse homebuyers when makingdecisions.
2009-10-03 7:54 am
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