eng -the catcher in the rye?

apparently , I am reading the catch in th rye and my teacher asks me to write a paragraph using Holden's tone of voice and view to describe myself (i am pretended to be Holden describing myself)
and i want you guys to please help edit it.

One time, I met this girl on a crowded bus that you couldn't find any goddamn place to stand. After all those pushing from the basters on the bus,I finally stood beside her. Boy! I've never seen a girl like her in my whole goddamn life!Se is puny. Her height is half of mine. It looks like I am going to crush her anytime when she stands beside me. Other than her sides, she has these small eyes that seems like she can't see things clearly with them. Boy! isn't that sad? She wears inexpensive clothes from stores that I have never heard of in my whole goddamn life. Also, she got this weird dressing style. It looks like she placed herself in front of mirror for the whole day, but still couldn't pick the right thing to wear. Through her dressing style, you can tell she is a total Asian. She is nice tho. I like her. i really do. She knows i am staring and her felt uncomfortable with it, so i decided to stuck up a conversation. "Nice day today, ha?" Boy,how phony is that. She look at me for awhile, then smiled and said "Ya, nice day." She had a hellava kind face and she had a pretty nice smile too. I tried to struck up more conversations with her, but all she did was nodding and mumbling. Boy!That bored the hell out of me.I mean how bored can she be? I finally gave up and we stood in silence for 10 mintues. Abruptly, the bus drive hit the break and I stepped on her foot. I kept apologizing like a madman. She said it's ok and wished me a good day when she left on the next stop. Boy, she really is apuny puny asian girl.

*i want a better concluding sentence but souldn't think of any
do you guys have idea?