我寫左段英文!! 想知有冇錯 ??唔該

A music player always sings on a crowded street.
One night, when he was singing on the street, he met a girl who apprecicated his singing very much. They became friends.
The man is also a mechanic. He spent a whole night to repair a fan with the girl. After that they fall in love.
其實中間故事的敍述唔多合理, 及缺少了枝節, 不過只改了你的文化同句子架構... 故事性無同你改, 無加多減少....
a man - man 係單數, men 係複數... 這個錯處, 太離譜了
always sing - always要用現在式, 即係sing, 過去式是sang, 過去分詞是sung... 點解你要寫 song, song 解歌, 係名詞...
he singing - 過去進行式係 was singing, 現在進行式係 is singing..
懂得可以用 know, can.... 唔係用recognized, recognize 解認得...
fix a problem = 解決問題, 修理可以用 repair
other than the above... your sentence structure is totally chinglish...

The man is a music player. He always sings in the street which is crowed. One night, he met a girl while he was singing in the street. The girl felt that he was singing quite good and appreciated his singing so they became friends. Beside known for his music, he is also recognized to have the capability to fix machine. The man and the girl fixed a fan together that whole night, then they fell in love.


2009-09-01 16:35:13 補充：
He always sings in a crowded street.

2009-09-01 16:35:58 補充：
Besides known for his music, ...

A men was a music player.He always sings on the crowed street.One night,he met a girl when he was singing on the street.The girl felt it is quite good and appreciated him, so they became friends.Moreover,he recognized to fix a machine. Finally,the men and the girl fixed the fan together in the whole night, they fall in love.

A men => A man
amusic => a music
He always song => always sings
on the street which is a crowed street => on the street which is crowded
while he singing => while he was singing
felt he singing quite good => felt his singing was quite good
a friends => friends