Recently, most children love eating junk food, particulary like snacks, sweet drinks and fried food. Some people think that children should not be allowed eat junk food. I totally agree this opinion because eating junk food may affect their health.
Firstly, junk food is too oily and fatly.If children eat it ofthen, they may become fat even obese. For example , there is a korean boy, who keep on eating Mcdonald's fired food for a long time, become an extremely fat boy lastly and can't move normally.
Secondly, eating lots of junk food may lead to children illnesses , like high blood pressure , hert disease and even cancer, they may kill children's life. If we don't want children become an unhealthy person, we must not give too much junk food for them to eat.
Thirdly, most children use lots of money for buying snacks and drinks. I think it's a waste of money. If they quit eating junk food, they may save more money.
To conclude, it's obvious that eating junk food is not good for children's health so I agree children should not be allowed to eat junk food.
我想知道我這篇文章有沒有生字或gramma用錯之處,請作出點評
還有如果這篇文是會考老師改的,會不會不及格或是太簡單
thx
幫我點評一下這篇英文作文
2009-08-05 8:53 pm
回答 (1)
2009-08-05 9:24 pm
✔ 最佳答案
而..你好似打錯左隻字仔咁喎...上面既句子係你既句子..下面既係小女既意見:sweet drinks and fried food. ( line1-2)
soft drinks and fried food.
If children eat it ofthen (line 5)
If children eat it too often
我覺得呢度怪怪地...不過你本身咁寫都冇問題...我覺得咁會好d
For example , there is a korean boy who keep on eating Mcdonald's fired food for a long time, become an extremely fat boy lastly and can't move normally.( line6-8)
I have heard a Korean boy, who keeps on eating Mcdonald's fried
food for long time. As the result, he cannot move normally since he has become an extremely fat boy.
Secondly, eating lots of junk food may lead to children illnesses(line9)
果d唔係叫老人病咩?
Secondly, eating junk food may lead to many diseases.
like high blood pressure , hert disease and even cancer( line9-10)
like high blood pressure, heart diseases and even cancers.
they may kill children's life.(line10)
Children can be killed by these diseases.
有時零食唔係家長買,係小朋友自己買..所以觀點係要避色唔係禁止
If we don't want children become an unhealthy person, we must not give too much junk food for them to eat.( line11-12)
If we do not want them to an unhealthy life, we must encourage them to avoid eating junk food.
至於第四段,文法上我唔覺冇問題,但觀點有少少問題..
你最好唔好直接話買零食曬錢,而係建議將果d錢擺係邊方面...
so I agree children should not be allowed to eat junk food.(line17)
so I agree that children should try to avoild eating junk food.
我覺得係簡單左d...如果你會考既話..我唔知會考標準..不過就文法有少少怪怪地..同用字稍為簡單左d
如果100分滿分,我比70
作文呢d野..寫得多,多d睇人地點寫就會進步架啦..加油!
收錄日期: 2021-05-04 00:56:31
原文連結 [永久失效]:
https://hk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090805000051KK00869