HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY LISTEN AND ACTUALLY ABSORB WHAT WAS SAID?
2009-06-20 3:09 pm
I sometimes feel like it just goes in one ear and out the other. How do you make a guy really hear what you have to say? Is that even possible or is that like an urban myth or something?
回答 (32)
2009-06-20 3:15 pm
✔ 最佳答案
Short, simple explanations. I'm serious.
You may need to return for follow up information injections---keep those short and simple also.
2009-06-20 3:13 pm
What?
Oh. Um.
Have you tried saying something relevant or interesting?
Oh. Um.
Have you tried saying something relevant or interesting?
2009-06-20 3:32 pm
The actual urban myth is that women *NEED* to tell a guy every little thing for him to "get it."
Men and women think differently. Women tend to process their emotions and problems verbally, and really don't seem to trust what they're feeling or thinking unless someone else listens to it and reinforces them on it. Men are the opposite. We don't really trust any decisions or emotions we feel unless we think them over privately, without any outside influence.
Women often make the mistake of assuming that men need to do it their way, while men make the mistake of assuming that women will understand what they are thinking without their saying anything.
I have dozens of female friends, and this is something that we've discussed quite often. It's just a fundamental difference in the way the two genders think. Men are very, very emotional and very, very understanding/empathetic/smart. We're just a lot less verbal, and a "discussion" turns into outright "nagging" very quickly.
We wouldn't have survived millions of years running around in packs hunting animals if we weren't good at communicating, understanding the intentions of those around us and whatever we were after, and then working together to finish the deal. We just couldn't have done all of that while TALKING (or else, what do ya know, the animal hears you and runs away) - so we had to develop quieter ways of figuring these sort of things out.
Chances are, he hears you. He probably understood you before you said anything. But don't expect him to discuss every little thing, or to discuss anything in more words than absolutely necessary. If you want him to hear you, speak in his language.
Example: when a guy ***** up, the woman usually spends an hour hinting that something is wrong, another hour bringing up side issues that have little to do with what she actually wants to tell him, and then another two hours discussing how he ****** up, how each aspect of his ****-up made her feel, what she had to deal with as a result of those feelings, and on and on and on.
All you have to do is say.. "You pissed me off when you did that. Please don't do it again. Thank you." That's it!!! He'll hear you.
Men and women think differently. Women tend to process their emotions and problems verbally, and really don't seem to trust what they're feeling or thinking unless someone else listens to it and reinforces them on it. Men are the opposite. We don't really trust any decisions or emotions we feel unless we think them over privately, without any outside influence.
Women often make the mistake of assuming that men need to do it their way, while men make the mistake of assuming that women will understand what they are thinking without their saying anything.
I have dozens of female friends, and this is something that we've discussed quite often. It's just a fundamental difference in the way the two genders think. Men are very, very emotional and very, very understanding/empathetic/smart. We're just a lot less verbal, and a "discussion" turns into outright "nagging" very quickly.
We wouldn't have survived millions of years running around in packs hunting animals if we weren't good at communicating, understanding the intentions of those around us and whatever we were after, and then working together to finish the deal. We just couldn't have done all of that while TALKING (or else, what do ya know, the animal hears you and runs away) - so we had to develop quieter ways of figuring these sort of things out.
Chances are, he hears you. He probably understood you before you said anything. But don't expect him to discuss every little thing, or to discuss anything in more words than absolutely necessary. If you want him to hear you, speak in his language.
Example: when a guy ***** up, the woman usually spends an hour hinting that something is wrong, another hour bringing up side issues that have little to do with what she actually wants to tell him, and then another two hours discussing how he ****** up, how each aspect of his ****-up made her feel, what she had to deal with as a result of those feelings, and on and on and on.
All you have to do is say.. "You pissed me off when you did that. Please don't do it again. Thank you." That's it!!! He'll hear you.
2009-06-20 3:23 pm
Like most men, I find that women talk too much and do not come to the point quickly enough. (There are some men like this as well and they tend to work in sales).
Thus I tend to "Switch off" when a woman starts talking, i.e I may look like I am listening , but I am not. I do not the way women speak against them as it is natures way of teaching kids how to speak.
So women if you want your male partner/husband to listen, keep what you say short and to the point. Start with the goal and follow with the explanation, not the other way around.
Instead of for example :"Carey was running around this morning and I told her not to and to sit down properly like I have said many times before, sometimes in front of you and she spilt some milk and I told her to mop it up and she said "No" and I told her to go and do it...".,
Say:
We need some more milk. Can you get it this afternoon?
Thus I tend to "Switch off" when a woman starts talking, i.e I may look like I am listening , but I am not. I do not the way women speak against them as it is natures way of teaching kids how to speak.
So women if you want your male partner/husband to listen, keep what you say short and to the point. Start with the goal and follow with the explanation, not the other way around.
Instead of for example :"Carey was running around this morning and I told her not to and to sit down properly like I have said many times before, sometimes in front of you and she spilt some milk and I told her to mop it up and she said "No" and I told her to go and do it...".,
Say:
We need some more milk. Can you get it this afternoon?
2009-06-20 3:19 pm
My guy listens to what I say and don't say. He reads me well. Yes it is possible. You don't make him listen. He listens. Be sure of that.
2009-06-20 3:19 pm
Make a very sad face. Make him imotional and make him feel that why u are so unhappy is because of him. then he will ask u to say something.
If this guy cares for your feeling then he would listen to u. If he don't then leave him
If this guy cares for your feeling then he would listen to u. If he don't then leave him
參考: I am a guy
2009-06-20 3:16 pm
well, if the guy isn't listening, does he really like you? if so then ask him why does he listen to you.
And most guys are jerks. you just gonna find the right one.
good luck!
And most guys are jerks. you just gonna find the right one.
good luck!
2009-06-20 3:16 pm
You turn him into a woman. That is the only way! lol
2009-06-20 3:15 pm
A.) If it happens regularly, leave him. B.) If he's just a bit distracted, try and seduce him then talk afterwards. C.) Don't sit near a tele. D.) If you talk a load of tosh, stop. But the last one's obviously rare, if he likes you he'll not care that you talk regular gibberish. I'm a bloke, if there's boobies and football, we are genetically forced to focus on that over everything else that's happening. Not our fault!
2009-06-20 3:15 pm
don't talk too much
2009-06-20 3:14 pm
Make sure what your talking about is interesting and worthwhile absorbing
2009-06-20 3:14 pm
You have to make him want to listen. Either that or chain him to a wall in your basement, put a knife to his throat and ask him if he wants to listen or die.
2009-06-20 3:13 pm
just be quiet
2009-06-20 3:15 pm
we pretend to listen to the Emotion drivel that is so amazingly boring its only the promise of sex that keeps us pretending
why do you assume you have any thing worth listening too?
you will talk about emotions, shoes fashion and relationships
god i would Rather cut my throat than listen to that
so we sit nod and look at your nipples
why do you assume you have any thing worth listening too?
you will talk about emotions, shoes fashion and relationships
god i would Rather cut my throat than listen to that
so we sit nod and look at your nipples
2009-06-20 4:08 pm
make him get ur attention
2009-06-20 3:30 pm
You can yell at them if you want to make sure the volume is loud enough to get through to them, but if the goal is that he actually "listen, understand, comprehend and/or appreciate" what you've said, you won't get that unless your listener cares enough about you to want to hear what you've got say. While you can "bribe" them with offers of a reward (sex, food, etc.), that still doesn't truly satisfy your desire for his partipation.....you cannot force or trick someone into truly caring about you.
You can try "active listening" techniques. Tell him the information and then ask him questions about what you said or ask him to repeat back what he heard. Either he'll answer the questions, repeat back something close to what you said -- allowing you an opportunity to elaborate further, explain or repeat yourself....or he'll ignore you, get angry you're interrupting his PS3 game, or blow you off entirely. Either his brain is going 500mph and it takes some work for him to hear and understand or he doesn't care enough about you to at least give you the common decency of putting himself aside long enough to listen to you.
You can try "active listening" techniques. Tell him the information and then ask him questions about what you said or ask him to repeat back what he heard. Either he'll answer the questions, repeat back something close to what you said -- allowing you an opportunity to elaborate further, explain or repeat yourself....or he'll ignore you, get angry you're interrupting his PS3 game, or blow you off entirely. Either his brain is going 500mph and it takes some work for him to hear and understand or he doesn't care enough about you to at least give you the common decency of putting himself aside long enough to listen to you.
參考: counselor
2009-06-20 3:24 pm
make eye communication and talk in a serious tone.
if he still doesnt listen then tell him something that will worry him of the risk of your relationship with him.
Or you can try this test to see if he is really listening or not
--> as your talking to him say something ridiculous like
in the middle of your sentences to see if he caught what you just said,
like for example
"Babe i really love you and you make me feel happy so when i tell
you that i have AIDS and like sucked 3 cocks at one time before try not to get mad because i truley love you hunny :] "
- now im not saying that is true about you but if he catches what you just said that was so ridiculous then yea he is listening if not then i highly suggest that you leave him cuz you dont need someone like that.
if he still doesnt listen then tell him something that will worry him of the risk of your relationship with him.
Or you can try this test to see if he is really listening or not
--> as your talking to him say something ridiculous like
in the middle of your sentences to see if he caught what you just said,
like for example
"Babe i really love you and you make me feel happy so when i tell
you that i have AIDS and like sucked 3 cocks at one time before try not to get mad because i truley love you hunny :] "
- now im not saying that is true about you but if he catches what you just said that was so ridiculous then yea he is listening if not then i highly suggest that you leave him cuz you dont need someone like that.
2009-06-20 3:20 pm
dont talk at all. play the "silent treatment sorta"
so when you finally do talk he will listen
but before doing that id tell him how you felt
and that you want him to listen and care about what you have to say
so when you finally do talk he will listen
but before doing that id tell him how you felt
and that you want him to listen and care about what you have to say
2009-06-20 3:18 pm
you cant......but just dont talk to him when he can be distracted.
2009-06-20 3:17 pm
no actually you have to choose the one u think is right for you if u do want to stay with him just don't listen to wat he says
2009-06-20 3:17 pm
sit him down and actually be like this is important baby. while you talk to him talk about how you feel and things yal did for each other as examples to show the love so he can feel it always and that should grab his attetion also take out all outside destractions ex. tv, cell phones, friends etc.... if he isnt an A hole he will listen to. its jus the timein u say stuff and how he feels and mood and when your alone
參考: I'm a sweet talker
2009-06-20 3:16 pm
Wait until you are on a boring car ride together. People listen more attentively during long car rides.
2009-06-20 3:15 pm
write it all down in a letter that worked for me! Coz i reckon when you start trying to talk to a guy and you really want him to listen all they hear is blah blah blah in fact i had a conversation about this this morning lol
2009-06-20 3:15 pm
sorry.. can you say again i was just listening to the football scores on TV.
actually... whilst you're up... pass me a beer will ya.... yeah... then i'll listen to your question again... promise.
just as soon as i've finished all this other stuff.
actually... whilst you're up... pass me a beer will ya.... yeah... then i'll listen to your question again... promise.
just as soon as i've finished all this other stuff.
2009-06-20 3:15 pm
I hate it when guys don't listen. If he really is listening, then he will look you in the eye and appear to be "actually listening". Sometimes they may try to pretend that they're listening. Just simply ask, "Did you listen to what i just say?" If he goes like, "Huh? Uh, yeah, i did." Something like that, then he probably wasn't listening. If he still doesn't listen, then simply ask him the listen to what your going to say.
I hope i helped...^^
I hope i helped...^^
2009-06-20 3:14 pm
Tell him you are considering breaking up with him.
2009-06-20 3:14 pm
dont talk to much
2009-06-20 3:13 pm
you cant
2009-06-20 3:13 pm
my husband is more apt to listen after the sex has already happened.
2009-06-20 3:13 pm
yell at him
2009-06-20 3:13 pm
it's called selective hearing. have him take notes and then read them back to you later on
2009-06-20 3:12 pm
It may sound weird but "Listen and you get sex." I'm not joking, it is seriously gonna work.
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