唔該勁人幫我汁汁grammer

If i can give a present to Jack and Rose.I think i will not give them a life boat or anything that can save them.

If i can...I will -present tense, the story was happened in the past, so using past tense is more appropriate.
I think -not necessary
anything- since you had mentioned a life boat before, using anything sounds a bit strange, other things would be more appropriate.
The rewriting sentance:
If I could give a present to Jack and Rose, I would not give them a life boat or any other things that could save them.
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I know that someone may feel so disapointed.Let me tell you what i think
disapointed? no this word! it should be disappointed. double 't'
It should be like that:
I know that someone may feel so disappointed. Therefore, let me tell you what i thought.

the two sentence should need a connection between them or you may just cross out I know that someone may feel so disapointed and then write let me tell you the reason.
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Titanic is a romatic love story.If i give them a lifeboat and they have saved by the rescue team .The story will not attractive.I would like to give them more time to stay together and have a short but penetrating love story

romatic??? it is a spelling mistake. it should be romantic.
Titanic is a romantic love story.
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If i give them a lifeboat and they have saved by the rescue team .The story will not attractive.
again, past tense should be used.
have saved by- you should use the passive voice.
The story will not attractive- this sentence lacks the verb, will is only an auxiliary word, ok? also, the story will not change to be not attractive but less attractive.
If I gave them a lifeboat, they could have been saved by the rescue team and the story would be less attractive.
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2009-05-23 22:10:32 補充：
I would like to give them more time to stay together and have a short but penetrating love story.

the sentence sounds a bit strange. connection should be added before it.
since time is uncountable, you should not use more, much is more appropriate.
penetrating? what do you mean?

2009-05-23 22:10:43 補充：
the rewriting sentence:
In this way, I would like to give them much time to stay together and have a short but penetrating love story.

2009-05-23 22:11:32 補充：
the rewriting article:
If I could give a present to Jack and Rose, I would not give them a life boat or any other things that could save them. I know that someone may feel so disappointed . Therefore, let me tell you what i thought.

2009-05-23 22:11:35 補充：
As Titanic is a romantic love story, if I gave them a lifeboat, they could have been saved by the rescue team and the story would be less attractive. In this way, I would like to give them much time much time to stay together and have a short but penetrating love story.

If i could give a present to Jack and Rose. I would not give them a life boat or anything that can saved them.I know that someone may feel so disappointed.And now, let me tell you why.
Titanic is a romantic love story .Therefore if i have given them a lifeboat ,they would have saved by the rescue team .The story will not be attractive. Thus, I would like to give them more time to stay with each other and have a short but penetrating love story.

ok??^^

If I can give a present to Jack and Rose,I think I won't give them a lifeboat or anything that can save them.I know that someone may feel so disappointed.Let me tell you what I think .Titanic is a romatic love story .If I give them a lifeboat and they have saved by the rescue team .The story won't attractive.I would like to give them more times to stay together and have a short but penetrating love story.