My bf and I have been going out for two year and we have a pretty good relationship. However I noticed when we fight from time to time it almost always has to do with his hateful sister. My bf and I agreed since she is so rude and ignorant that it would be best (his idea not mine) to keep the conversations to a minimum in order to reduce conflict.
Nevertheless I feel she makes it a point to talk to him like sh*t when I am around because she knows how much it bothers me. Not to mention she totally disrespect him and belittles him in my presence. I get so angry sometimes I wanna knock the hell outta her but I know violence is not the way and people like her thrive on drama like that.
I tell him all the time to stand up for himself. I advise him to talk back or simply just leave her alone as much as possible. He helps her with her kids and even helps pay bills in the house when he can but gets no appreciation from her. Not to mention every time he gets excited about any social or fun event we plan together she either tries to fuss with him before he leaves or she finding a way to inconvenience us by making him go home earlier than we planned.
Now she has become so blunt about the insults it has transgressed to me. Now she is trying to talking mess to me in a very passive manner which she does not think I will catch on to. I told him it would get worst unless he put his foot down.
It has gotten to point that whenever we talk about it we end up in this huge argument. He point is she hasn’t done anything to you directly so forget about her and don’t worry about him. My point is what it has to get to the point where she tried to blantantly verbally or physically assault me for you to do anything about her? I have never been with a man before who had their sibling belittle them and it has become a big turnoff to me .
I love him but this sick relationship with his sister is killing his masculinity in my eyes.
So my question is am I wrong to be angry at him for not answering the behavior of his sister? Do I have the right to speak about the way she speaks to him? What should I advise to him to do? If he does not take any action what would you conclude about him?
Is it wrong for me to speak up and be angry that my bf's sister treats to him with no respect?
2009-04-08 8:15 am
回答 (3)
2009-04-08 8:26 am
✔ 最佳答案
In this situation, you have to be proactive, especially when her insults are transgressing to you. If you do nothing but talk to your boyfriend about these issues it will just result in bigger and more intense arguments with him and issues in your relationship.While it is up to him to take care of how he is treated by his sister, but you are completely within your rightful territory to speak to her about her attitude towards you. When she makes sneaky comments, ask her blatantly about them, right then and there. The likelihood is that she will be embarassed and flustered once you point out exactly what she had said to you, while you don't look petty by snapping back.
At some point it seems you need to sit down with his sister, and be honest (and as unaccusing as possible -- it will only make her defensive and the conversation will go nowhere) and talk to her about having respect and consideration for you. Maybe during that you could slip in that you dont like the way you see her treat your boyfriend.
This is a delicate situation, but if you carry it around and continue to be angry at your boyfriend for it, it will only eat away at your relationship.
2016-10-14 1:25 pm
base line is an previous cliche': Blood is thicker than water. it somewhat is an previous cliche' because of the fact it somewhat is authentic. you are able to no longer step right into a blood courting and alter the dynamic. If this is unacceptable to you progression on. keep your self from the drama and issues or settle for the dysfunctional ingredient of their courting. feels like that could make you unhappy, so pass on.
2009-04-08 9:57 am
this is none of your business.
how his sis treats him and how he takes it is the problem between them, not you. he would do something if he feels like correcting it. hes not that means he is ok with the way he n his sis communicates.
everyone has different communication ways, don't tell them what they should do in your opinion.
moreover, his sis can influence how his mom feels about you. so better treat this girl nicely.
let your bf solve his own problem with his sis. stay away.
how his sis treats him and how he takes it is the problem between them, not you. he would do something if he feels like correcting it. hes not that means he is ok with the way he n his sis communicates.
everyone has different communication ways, don't tell them what they should do in your opinion.
moreover, his sis can influence how his mom feels about you. so better treat this girl nicely.
let your bf solve his own problem with his sis. stay away.
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