pls help to check if ...

2009-03-15 11:51 pm
pls help to check if something if wrong with my thing...


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My name is XXXXXX. I am eleven years old. I was born in 1997 and grew up in Hong Kong. I love listening to the music, reading books and dancing in my free time.
My remember that last year, I joined a dancing competition in Hong Kong Queen Elizabeth Stadium, which was in Wan Chai.I was so excited and scared at first, because it was my first competition I have joined ever and also there was a lot of people watching my performance. But later, when the music started, the feeling of scary and frightened had come out of me! I was so relaxed! I danced by following the music, step by step, part by part, at last , the music stopped , the competition was over, although I did not get any medals or prizes , I think I have did my best……
From that experience, I have learnt a lot of things form it, I think I will do better in my future.
更新1:

I am really 11 years old..... hehe but thanks for your help!!!!!

回答 (1)

2009-03-16 12:37 am
✔ 最佳答案
It was such a delight proof-reading your writing. If you're really 11 years old, I'll have to say you're a very gifted writer. I've read a lot of essays, even at the college level, and I'm very impressed with your work. I've highlighted some of the errors I found, which are very minor. Keep it up! You're an excellent writer!


My name is XXXXXX. I am eleven years old. I was born in 1997 and grew up in Hong Kong. I love listening to the music, reading books, and dancing during my free time.
Last year, I entered into a dancing competition in Hong Kong Queen Elizabeth Stadium, which was in Wan Chai. I was so excited and scared at first, because it was my first competition, and also there a lot of people watching my performance. But later, when the music started, the feeling of fear had dissipated! I was so relaxed! I danced by following the music, step by step, part by part, and at last, the music stopped. The competition was over. Although I did not get any medals or prizes, I believe I have done my best……
From that experience, I have learnt a lot of things from it. I think I will do better in my future.
參考: 知少少扮代表.


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