一篇我的英文日記,希望大家能指出我的文法錯誤和多餘的詞彙!!

I have dinner with my friends tonight, who are my ex-colleagues in hair salon (in my previous job). I had known them for almost five years. We had experienced a lot of things when we were working together. Although we do not working together now, we are still maintaining a good friendship and I am happy to hang out with them.


My dream (in the past) was to become a hairstylist (hair designer), though I did not have special reason for this. It might because hairstylist was seemed to be cool and stylish to me (when I was young). However, I don't have this kind of thinking anymore now. Indeed, I do really admire some people who can find and work for their dream job (work) and I would like to be one of them. But, (the fact is that) I am still searching for my dream now.


Nevertheless, I am sometimes doubt about the idea of finding my dream work. I believe that we are paid for working and solving any problems that boss is requested. Therefore, I am no longer to think of my dream work anymore.


Notes:
- This is better to use "colleagues" instead of "my partners of working in". Also, "colleague" means the "people who is working with you in same company".
- "ex-colleague" means 之前既同事 or called: "former colleague"
- Better to use "hang out" than "meet". "hang out" = 約朋友普通出街見個面 (http://hk.knowledge.yahoo.com/question/?qid=7008012002902)
- Better use "hairstylist" than "hair designer".
- I am not sure the meaning in your 3rd paragraph. Do you mean: "你認為上面諗法好幼稚..."??? If so, my writing for your 3rd paragraph is correct. Anyway, please let me know if I got wrong, thus I can make changes for you.
- 括號的字是給你另一選擇

Wish this can help ~

2009-03-16 12:55:05 補充：
About your question of "lots of 同 a lot of 有咩分別", you might reference below:

http://hk.knowledge.yahoo.com/question/question?qid=7006081100611

2009-03-16 13:00:18 補充：
Revised on your 3rd paragraph:

Nevertheless, I sometimes wonder if this is rational to search (look) for our dream work, as we are paid for working and solving any problems that boss is requested (assigned). Therefore, I am no longer to think of my dream work anymore.

001改了原文末段的意思~不過比較少錯誤~

002保留了原來意思~並用了pro一點的英文~還答了發問者的全部問題~
可惜文法上的錯誤也相應較多...(尤其tenses)


p.s.我並沒有答這題~

I ate dinner with my friends tonight who I have known for five years. They were my colleagues in a hair salon previously. We experienced lots of things when working together. We are currently not working together at this time. It was nice for me to meet with them.


Becoming a hair designer is my dream. I do not know why I had this dream.
I think it's nice and smart for me to become a hair designer. However, I no longer have this thinking now. I really admire some people who can achieve their goals, and I also want to become one of those people. I have not achieved my ultimate goal yet.

I admire individuals who envision their goal and make them a reality. I believe I will be able to achieve my goals with the proper discipline and work ethic needed. Nonetheless, I will need to be patient in achieving my ultimate goal.