唔該可唔可以幫我睇下D文法上有冇錯誤?

Hong Kong is the place where I (was, passive voice) born, (;) I live and I belong. I definitely love this place. Chasing back to the past of Hong Kong, we can find that Hong Kong has changed a lot, and it (has, use present perfect since the previous sentence is using present perfect) usually changed for the better. Initially, Hong Kong was just (only, just is not informal) a small fish port which was not well known. However, it has became an international financial centre. This shows our ancestors’ marvelous work.
As a result, I am so curious about the future of Hong Kong. When the time comes to us, the generation Y, what will happen to (in) Hong Kong? Will the economy of Hong Kong still bloom as now? No one can tell the future, and thus what we can do is to equip ourselves. Only in this way can we tackle more challenges. Acquire more knowledge is what we should do in (delete in) no doubt. Furthermore (one word), we should also devote ourselves to the community, in order to build up a harmonious society. I belief (believe verb) , with our wisdom and cooperation, the future of Hong Kong must be more sparkle sparkling(adj). Let’s work hard for the brighter future of Hong Kong!

As a result, I am so curious about the future of(change to in) Hong Kong.
what will happen to(in) Hong Kong