幫幫忙，改下e篇英文

Dear Paul,
I haven"t seen you for a long time. Have you finished your first term examination yet? I have already finished my first term examination.
I have received a letter from Chris, he is worried about you. Your brother, Chris wrote me that you have started smoking and was in fights. The ingredients of tobacco smoke are chemically active. They can start dramatic and fatal changes in the body. There are over 4,000 chemicals, which can be damaging to the smoker's body. Hope you can give up smoking. In addition, you should respect the teacher, mustn't fight with classmates. You do not hope to be injured because of fighting either. He still expresses in the letter you is stealing money from Mum's purse. Do you know? If you steal money from mum"s purse you will hurt your mother and it is an dishonest behavior. Hope you can change.
I am looking forward to hear from you . See you later.
Love,
Susan



其實都作得唔錯，冇乜大問題

Dear Paul,
I haven’t seen you for a long time. Have you finished your first- term examination? I have already finished mine.
I have received a letter from your brother,Chris. He is worrying about you. He wrote that you have started smoking and was involved in fights. The ingredients of cigarettes are chemically active which would start dramatic and fatal changes in the body. There are over 4,000 chemicals which could hazardous to health . I hope you could quit smoking. Additionally, you should respect the teacher as well as your classmates by avoiding fights. You do not want to be injured. He also wrote that you stole money from your Mum's purse. Do you know that it will hurt her? I hope you can correct this dishonest behavior.
Looking forward to hear from you soon. See you later.
Love,
Susan

Dear Paul,
I haven't seen you for a long time. Have you finished your first term examination? I have already finished my first term examination.
I have received a letter from Chris, he was worried about you. Your brother, Chris wrote me that you have started smoking and was in fights. The ingredients of tobacco smoke are chemically active. They can start dramatic and fatal changes in the body. There are over 4,000 chemicals, which can be damaging to the smoker's body. Hope you can give up smoking. In addition, you should respect the teacher, mustn't fight while respecting classmates. You do not hope to be injured because of fighting either. He still expresses in the letter you are stealing money from your Mum's purse. Do you know? If you steal money from mums purse you will hurt your mother and it is an dishonest behavior. Hope you can change.
I look forward to hearing from you soon. See you later.
Love,
Susan