CHRIS is always the heart of the party; he is well spoken, confident and gregarious. He has lots of friends and seems to have everything going for him. Why then, is he suffering from low self-esteem? Chris sets very high standards for himself; he constantly seeks approval and validation from those around him. While he is very good at making other people happy, he is not very good at making himself happy, nor acknowledging his own successes or achievements. He is scared of failure and sets very high, almost unachievable, goals for himself. He doesn’t truly believe he can achieve them, which makes him angry and depressed. Sometimes he even unconsciously sets himself up to fail.
Sarah, one of Chris’ classmates, is generally quiet and not very confident. She hates answering questions in class in case she gets the answer wrong. If she does get the answer wrong she scolds herself and gets depressed. However, when she gets the answer right she doesn’t congratulate herself or look happy. She has set too high expectations for herself; she wants to be perfect every time. She indulges in self-pity and complains to her friends constantly about how difficult her life is, but refuses to do anything about it.
Low self-esteem can affect anyone, we’ve all probably experienced a time where we hit ourselves over the head, and felt so guilty, that we dwell in something that we’ve done. The smart thing to do is to make amends, give yourself a break and let the problem go. People who have low self-esteem find this very difficult to do and make themselves unhappy by going over and over their mistakes, dwelling on their lack of action, deficient personality and so on.
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