緊急, 幫我改一改正 英文文法 (20點)

I am of the view that we should not play computer games.
Many reports show that children and teenagers can easily become addicted to the games. They only want to play the games all the time and lose interest in other activities. Some even do not eat and drink. Around 44 percent of the youth said their friends are addicted. Nearly eight in 10 US children and teenagers play video games at least once a month. I think this is a very serious social issue. If they confine themselves in their home, they will become hikkies (which is a Japanese term referring to reclusive individuals who have chosen to withdraw from social life.) There are many examples in Japan. Indulging in online games not only wastes money but also time. If one spends all his time in playing the games, there will be no time left for studying, doing homework, not to mention socialising with friends, and gathering with family. Obviously, these young people will not get good results in school and they have few friends. Besides, violence computer games will have bad influence on young people who may immitate the violent behaviour of the characters of the games. To conclue, I consider teenagers should not spend too much time on computer games.

A lot of reports show that many children and teenagers are become addicted

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My Point is : We should not play video games .
A lot of reports show that many children and teenagers are become addicted to video games. They do not want to eat or drink, they only want to play the game. Around 44 percent of the youth said their friends are addicted. Nearly eight in ten US children and teenagers play video games at least once a month. I think this is a very grave social issue. Since they do not go out of the house, it is very easy to become isolated from the society and the normal social life.

There are many examples in Japan. Some online games can buy cards in the reality. It is easy to spend a lot of money. If one spends too much time of playing video games, how would that affect their homework, friends, and family? Maybe their scores in the school will be very low. Their friends would not play with him. If one plays violent video games, he might learn from the games and break the law. There are many negative influences about this. So I don’t support the teenagers to spend too much time of playing video games.