英文日記..幫手改改啊!

katy1994302

2009-01-06 5:55 am

有篇英文日記幫手改改,講明錯邊同正確寫法!
多多指教,thx
It was so cold today.I wore lots of clothes.I just like a ball.So I walkedvery slow.When I went to outside , everyone just like me.Lots of ball on the street,haha!It was funny! Not everything was cold.The sunshine was so warm,It made me felt very comfortable.When I went to home and saw my parents ,I think my happy family is the sunshine in my life.And I love this sunshine very much.Can I be the sunshine for them?I hope I can.

回答 (1)

[匿名]

2009-01-06 6:06 am

✔ 最佳答案

Read your above diary. Don't wish to correct word by word, but would like to give some comments, if you don't mind. Firstly, you are thinking in cantonese. Secondly, you are not saying much (but I like your last 2 lines). Thirdly, you have some grammatical mistakes (e.g. went 'to' outside?). Hope you find these helpful.

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