Ok, will this sound a bit cowardly to ask my girlfriend?

yeah sure ask her

You have every reason in the world to be upset. It makes you feel like less of a person when somebody says things like that..i definintly think you should see a therapist just to let out you frustration and for someone to hear you talk n make you feel better

No, I can't see you sounding desperate. She probably knows this has affected you in some way and would be willing to give you the name and address of her therapist. You'll only sound like someone who would like a little help, especially if you explain that you feel you need someone to talk to. Plus, your ex knows this therapist and this can be another reason for asking: so you don't have to go to someone you've never heard before. If she says no anyway I'm sure it should be easy to find another in the phone book or online (and online may have reviews if you want to find someone trustworthy).

Actually that sounds like a great idea. When someone has an important relationship and it ends it can leave them confused, add to that the fact that the partner ended it because they essentially didn't connect sexually with them and it can get messy. So good idea to talk through whats going on with you, trying to get rid of any baggage will increase the likelyhood of your relationship working if you decide to try again.

Two things to consider though... firstly your ex may not want you talking to "her" therapist. Although bound by ethics and a code of conduct some clients are still scared that their therapist will share details of what they discuss with other clients eg your ex might worry that you'll find out what they discussed if you see the same person. Secondly the therapist may not want to see you because of the conflict of interest as she's already seeing your ex.

Also, I'll try to say this nicely but it probably won't sound nice because it's typed but two people have sex and if it isn't working for the one person it generally isn't just their fault. The way you've worded your question almost sounds like you feel it's all you'r ex's issues that have caused the problems but maybe you need to look at what you did too and consider there may have been things you did/didn't do that contributed to her loosing the spark.

When you are both ready and if you decide to have another go it may be worth going to couples counselling too to make sure you cover this ground.

She obviously cares about you a lot and you care about her, considering you're sticking through this with her. Considering she seems to want this to work, I'm sure it won't be a problem with her.
She might feel that you are being supportive by wanting to look into some help as well. Knowing you are both working through it together might give her a sense of stability.

I don't think you'll sound desperate... I mean, with these circumstances, you need to talk to someone and let it out. If she thinks it's a cowardly thing for you to ask her then maybe she's really not the girl for you. If you could find an expert elsewhere, though, that might be better if you really feel dumb asking your ex. But, I don't think you'll have any problems... Go for it :)

You should see separate therapist. It is a violation of ethics to treat two people in a relationship, who will obviously have clashing needs. You can suggest couples counseling for both of you, or pursue indivdual counseling on your own. Either way,it needs to be with a new person. Also, it doesn't sound desperate to seek help, but affirms that you care about the relationship.

Nothing desperate about speaking to a therapist, however seeing the same one as your fiance' wouldn't necessarily be the best idea unless you two plan to get couples counseling as well

Because of confidentiality issues, no therapist will see both of you individually for the same relationship problem. There are ethics issues involved. I suggest you go to your Primary Care Physician and ask if he is familiar with a therapist in your area he would recommend. Usually doctors are clued into who has helped some of their other patients.

Go see your own therapist, and work out your own issues in private. That way you have a person on your side to listen to you.

I do have to say that you seem like a nice guy. Is this relationship a good match in other ways? I just think you deserve to be with someone who doesn't have to see a therapist just to be with you. If this relationship has this and other problems as well, maybe you are barking up the wrong tree, and you need to move on.

Whatever happens, remember that her problems are HER problems, and not your fault.

You might sound a little desperate so my suggestion would be to find someone you trust completely to talk to like a confidant. Good Luck =D

Go ask her. She was your ex remember? It doesn't sound desperate at all. You just want to know why you've been affected and want it cured. Nobody likes to have a disability or disorder. Ask her and if she doesn't mind telling you, she will tell you. It's all okay!

*TIP: If you don't want to ask, try the phone book or google. There are some sex clinics out there that are willing to help you.