請修改我篇英文文章grammar

I am terribly sorry to tell you that there are still many grammatical mistakes. Let me teach you how to correct them.

1) Not only....But also
很多人不懂用. (not only跟動詞, but also也跟動詞, not only跟名詞, but also也跟名詞,not only跟形容詞, but also也跟形容詞)

e.g. He not only killed the shop owner but also hurt two policemen.
e.g. Not only Mary but also John will be punished.
e.g. Mary is not only beautiful, but also clever.

2) At the age of eighteen
3) I have a good look
4) buy clothes four times a year
5) they normally go shopping twice a week or they spend time on shopping twice a week
6) When I was a high school student (比較順暢)
7) one of my classmates (one of 後面一定要眾數)
8) working as a part-timer (漏 article "a")

They spend time shopping twice a week.

The 1st paragram already contained mistake... Let me help u

Nowadays, a lot of teenagers only care about their look. I believe this is not only appearing in Sydney, but also in many countries, as well as places like Hong Kong.

I am from Hong Kong and in the age of eighteen. I also understand teenagers' mindset regarding their good look and fashion. I like fashion too. I believe that if I have good look, I can easily make a lot of friends and earn proper respect from them. For me, I only buy new clothes roughly every four years. But in these day young people from Hong Kong can buy clothes anytime. They normally go shopping for twice a week and mininum spend HK$100 each trip.

When the time I was in high school, one of my female classmate who was not rich but always appeared with new clothes. One day, I saw her carrying a real LV bag to school. To my understanding, She should not be able to own it. Yet her answer was really amazing, she got all the necessary money from working as part-timer. The other classmates who worked part time as her also carrying expensive hangbag to school too. One of them was my best friend.

Nowadays, a lot of teenagers care about how they look. I don't think these problems only appear in Sydney, also happen in each country, including Hong Kong.

I 'm from Hong Kong. Beside, I'm eighteen years old as well. As a result, I understand why teenagers greatly care about how they look and spend a lot of money on the fashions. I also like fashions too. Because if I have a good image, it will make me consider and the society aspect, I can easy to make new friends. Fortunately, I only need to buy a clothes fourth a year. But today in Hong Kong's young people, they can buy a clothes very often, they normally spend time to buy new clothes twice a week on shopping. The money they spend was about $200 a week.

For instance, when I was a high school student .One of my classmate who was a girl. She didn't grew up in rich family. She also buy the new clothes for her appearance. One day, I saw her to was taking a LV handbag to school, so I asked her how can you get that. At the same time, I though she neither was robbery nor live in rich family. She told me that she was working a part time job so she was able to buy it. Also around her friends, who also took expensive handbags to go to school. It was derivative my classmate
2009-01-02 20:24:40 補充

And this situation. I think parents are also have responsible and some clothes company. As some parents they were rich, but I didn't know why they are giving the credit card to their children. I think that if their children become an adult, they mayn't know how to save their money.

2009-01-02 20:24:52 補充

And some company, they used to use a popular star to show their company clothes, so that the teenagers saw the advertisement on the magazine or TV and they was wishing to buy it.

2009-01-02 20:25:44 補充

To sum up, I disagree teenagers to buy new clothes very often to their appearance and they were wasting their parent 's money. Because ofthis, they will never know that how the money was earn!

我覺得全對~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{我d gammer ok 既...你可以信我}