Can someone help with my life?

Okay, so to avoid being confusing, I'll write the answer in points:

1) Going to your therapist is the first step! Good for you for getting a therapist! Talk everything out. Everything you don't like about your life, every problem you have, and every possible solution to that problem. Remember to be realistic. Don't try to solve little unsolvable problems (such as ..my nose is big! What can i do??).

2) Focus on solving those problems. There is nothing wrong with trying to improve and have a better life.

3) Trying to solve those problems can be depressing. But, something I've noticed in myself is that sometimes I'm just..sad and depressed... for no serious reason! When something comes up, it's not that bad! But I make it into something bad and get all depressed. Try not to do that. Think positive. You hear this a lot, but its the only way. Don't let yourself get depressed. Find something that makes you happy, something that will motivate you to live your life, to live another day!

Whenever I get depressed (which is ALL THE TIME!!), I say (more like scream) to myself "FOR A BETTER AND IMPROVED LIFE!" ...and go on with my life. I work hard to get a better life, and get out of this ditch-hole (also known as "my pathetic life!").

Okay, so your life isn't great. That's understandable, since life doesn't just BECOME great ..outta no where. You have to work at it. NOTHING IS FOR FREE! Just push yourself to have a better life. And don't ever let that 'depression bug' get near you!

Also, about the suicidal thoughts, NOTHING is worth loosing your life over. If your life isn't great...again....focus on working to make it better. This "working to make it better" will get your mind off suicide. You won't have TIME to think about suicide.

Also, as for killing others. Screw the world (or at least those that aren't very..nice). Don't let them bother you. Any time someone makes you mad, count backwards from 10 (and again and again) until you're calm enough. And then walk away.

Sorry its so long, and hope that helped.
Good luck, and don't worry! Everything WILL get better! It HAS to....one time or another!

The kind of thoughts you mention are not uncommon fantasies, particulary if you're under some specific stress.

You seem to be struggling with something that you feel has affected your life to this point, whether your father or not. You obviously feel there is a reason to fantasise about killing yourself or other people?

You (or your therapist) need to identify what in your life makes you feel this way and deal with it constructively.

You have a lot to live for, especially a girlfriend who puts up with moods like that! :)

I am sorry to hear that. Suicidal is wrong, it can't help you solve the problem. Also murdering others is wrong too. You hurt others and as the result, you will end up in jail. So that;s not right. Maybe you don't like your family, but that's ok. you have friends. Life is Hope, everything will be fine. maybe now you don't like your life, i believe one day u will. On day, you will thanks god that you didn't suicidal and you will realize this problem just a small problem. If you don't mind, you can share with me about your sadness. I am a good listener. You can email me.

Sounds like your thinking of an outlet for all your unhappiness. You should mention to your therapist that you disagree with her theory.
Are u most happiest with your girlfriend because u know she cares for you or because u can be yourself?
You have to be able to let go and find something to occupy your thoughts, that you enjoy.
Loneliness is a being factor in unhappy.
As cliche as it sounds joining a club is a good way to relax and meet new people. If they have similar interests they will probably be more interested in hearing your problems and being true friends. What do your current freinds think and do at the moment to help you?
Even playing poker of a night time at the local bar is a good source or socialisation

what is wrong is that events and emotions from long ago were never resolved, and now they are crowding into your present.

which also means you don't get to fully enjoy the present.

Your therapist sound crap. Your emotions are your emotions, your thoughts are your thoughts, you have control over them. It seems at some level you decided that your father not comming to see you was because you are not worth seeing. Are you a terrible person? What have you done that's so terrible? Who would agree with you? I'm guessing you would have been a child when you started feeling bad about your father. I gather your a bit older now with a girl friend and know alot more about adults and why people behave badly. Your father was of course in the wrong. It's his responsibility to try to have a relationship with the child he brought into the world. May be there's more to the story than your family have told you, but whatever happened you can be certain, it had little to do with you.

Bad feelings and thoughts are normal, acting them out is however unacceptable. With all the violence in movies and films, even in songs, it's not surprising you're having violent thoughts. Your thoughts are your thoughts, relax and unwind, don't get worked up about it and try not to think about it. Enjoy your relationship with your girlfriend. Take the good things in your life and enjoy them.

You're missing a part of you... Something was stolen thus turning yourself unto an ad-normal what appears to be wreck.. Forgive your father and do not expect things from your gf. Let go of the anger and pray to the Lord Jesus Christ for forgiveness and to be whole again. Praying for the best...

With Love, HNS