希望有人幫我修改一下我的作文

Hi,

Hi! This is my first time to write something on my blog.
My name is Tony Lau .My birthday is on
the 7 th of November .I am a student so I have no job .About my family, I live with my parents, my brother and sister in Lok Fu and I like this place very much because I grew up in this district since birth. There are many parks, supermarkets and useful facilities.


I remember that I met many kids in my childhood .One of my hobbies is playing football. My friends and I sometimes play that
on Sunday.
.In my leisure time, I like playing on my computer too because it makes me happy.I guess I am able to learn more English from this blog and
I will come here to write more and more from Monday to Friday.
Tony, I would like to tell you a few things about your English.
1) When you use the pronoun" I", do not forget to use a capital letter.
2) For some nouns, you have to capitalize them too.
3) Try to read more so as to learn how a proper sentence is formed.
4) Try to use different words to talk about something that has been mentioned previously.
5) Always capitalize the first word in a sentence.
6) Learn how to combine broken sentences.
Example:
1) I live in Lok Fu. My father, mother and me ..........
Combining these now**********************
Watch me! O_O
I live with my parents, brother and sister in Lok Fu.
Done!
See it is not hard at all:)
Good luck with your studies.
See you around, Tony.

hi! this is my first time to write in my blog.
My name is Tony Lau. My birthday is on
7th November. I am a student so I am not working.
In my family, there is a father, a mother, a brother, a sister and
me. I live in Lok Fu. I like Lok Fu very much
because I have been living here since one year old.
There are many parks here. When I was small, I met
a lot of friends in the park. My interest is playing
football. On Sunday my friend and I go
to play football. I like to play computer games
to spare my time. I feel happy when I play computer
games. I hope I can learn English when writing in
this blog. I will write in this blog from Monday to Friday.