找人幫我改這篇評論(高手平英文請進)

Summary:

A grandmother went shopping and let her two-year-old girl alone at home. When the girl woke up, she wanted to find her grand-mother, and then she climbed over the window and fall on the ground.
A man who lived in the first floor noticed her screaming and call security guard. At that time, the grand-mother had came and have already seen the girl fall. After calling the police, the police arrested the grand-mother on suspicion of ill-treating a child.
An expert said that the accident brought a call for parents to beware of the risk of placing children's bed near the window, and they called the government legislating the law which punish parents who left their children alone immediately.

Comments:

The grand-mother should have took care the girl although she was very busy, as this is her fault as a guardian. In my mind, there is not only this case of ill-treating children in Hong Kong recently, more guardian lack an awareness of treating children in nowadays. Moreover, I think this case can alert more parents or guardians to take care of their children.
I agree the an expert calling the government for legislate the law which can prevent further harm, as the parents or guardian won't be noticed if the government do not take action.