唔該幫我睇下文法邊度錯AR (20 FUN )

1.文法邊度錯:

其實冇乜錯，最差係punctuation: capital,例如錯用小楷(miss wong, ha, i, october, my, macao), 太多用comma唔用full stop 等。也有串錯字(geographery, frist), 不過係小問題。還有最後listen一字錯了。

2.幫改改佢:

我盡量衹改grammar，衹少少改內容如下:

Hello,Miss Wong! My name is Ha. I was born on October 29, 1992. I am 16 years old. My favourite subject is geography. I came from Macao. Macao is a very beautiful city, so I like Macao very much. I think I am a lazy boy. I don't like going to school, but I must go to school because I want to earn much money to enjoy life. My dream is to travel around the world. I want to travel by train or ship. If I can travel around the world, I think my first stop would be Japan or Australia. That's all. Thank you for listening!

2008-10-26 06:31:25 補充：
Typing mistake:
my first stop would be ...應是my first stop will be....

Hello Miss Wong. My name is Ha. I was born on29th of October in 1992. I am 16 years old.My favourite subject is Geography. I come From Macau. I think Macau is very beautiful,so I Like it very much.But,I am a lazy boy,I don't like to go to school.But I want to earn money to enjoy my future life so I need to be hardworking.
My dream is travell around the world by train or ship.If I can travel, I think I will first arrive Japan or Australia.
That is all about me.Think you for your listening!

hope i can help you

2008-10-26 11:05:00 補充：
I think my first ststion is Japan or Australia.

2008-10-26 11:05:24 補充：
station

Hello, Miss Wong, my name is Ha, I was born on October 29 1992 and I am 16 years old. My favourite subject is geography I come from Macao which (use “which” as a conjunction is better to say Macao 2 times in 1 sentence) is a very beautiful city. So I like Macao very much. I think I am a lazy boy since I don't like going to school. But I must go to school because I want to earn much money to enjoy my life in the future. My dream is to travel around the world. I want to travel by train or ship. If I can (you do not need to use “could” because the possibility for you to travel around the world can come true) travel around the world, I think my first stop will be Japan or Australia That's all (for what ????, you cannot end your talk like this. You have to say something to sum up your talk. In fact I tried to find something to suggest to you but I really cannot find the main point of your speech, so please think about it). Thank you for (no your) listening !

Note :

Try to use some conjunction such as : which, that, and, therefore, etc. instead of using too many short sentences.
Please do not forget you need to use CAPITAL LETTERS for :
Name
I
I am
At the beginning of the sentence
Miss / Mr.

Hello,miss wong , my name is ha ,i was born on 29 october 1992 i am 16 years old .my favourite subject is geographery .i come from Macao ,Macao is a very beautiful city.so i like Macao very much .i think that i am a lazy boy , i don't like going to school , but i must go to school because i want to earn more money to enjoy my life. my dream is to travel around the world. I want to travel by train or by ship . if i can travel around the world , i think my frist stop will be Japan or Australia That's all. thank you for your listen!

Answer:

Hello,miss wong , my name is ha ,i was born on october 29 1992. i am 16
years old .my favourite subject is geography .i come from macao ,macao is a
very beautiful city.so i like macao very much .i think i am a lazy person , i don't like going to school , but i must go to school because i want to earn a lot of money to enjoy my life in the future. my dream is to travel around the world. I want to travel by train or ship . if i could travel around the world , i think my frist stop would be Japan or Australia That's all. thank you for listening!