Say Goodbye to the winter
Say Hello to the spring
Spring is a romantic season
The butterfly is flying from flowers to swing
Say Goodbye To The
Say Hello To The summer
Summer is a quiet season
Enjoyed the peace of the summer holiday evening
Say Goodbye To The summer
Say Hello To The autumn
Autumn is a mellow season
The tree is dressing a colour of autumn/
Say Goodbye To The autumn
Say Hello To The winter
Winter is a quiet season
let's build a snowman with your best friend
好不好
意見意見意見意見意見意見意見意見
A poem
2008-10-26 5:30 am
回答 (4)
2008-10-26 8:11 am
✔ 最佳答案
我的意見如下:(1) If you like to use the first and second sentences this way( i.e. Say Goodbye and Say Hello), then I suggest the the last word in 3rd and 4th sentence of each stanza should be of rythme. The pattern is like
A
B
C
C
(2) Avoid usingt the word season at the end of the 3rd sentence so that you can find rythme words easier. For example , spring is a seaon of romance.
(3) quiet is to describe both summer and winter. It is not so good.
May I have the following suggestions: ( skip the 1st two sentences in each stanza)
Spring is a season of romance
Buttterflies and bees in the flowers are happy to dance
Summer is a time for peace
like a young girl givng her mother a kiss
Autumn is a season getting mellow
Sharing good wine with an old fellow
Winter is a time of snow
when we can build a snowman with our buddy Joe
2008-10-26 7:34 pm
OK la....
Better if you have rhyming for the last sentences in the 3rd and 4th stanza!
幾中意段頭
Say Goodbye to the xxxx
Say Hello to the xxxx
俾我有種樂於接受時間,季節流逝樂觀之感..
然而..
我覺得句尾稍欠詩意..
宜多用押韻字
我的意見如下:
(1) If you like to use the first and second sentences this way( i.e. Say Goodbye and Say Hello), then I suggest the the last word in 3rd and 4th sentence of each stanza should be of rythme. The pattern is like
A
B
C
C
(2) Avoid usingt the word season at the end of the 3rd sentence so that you can find rythme words easier. For example , spring is a seaon of romance.
(3) quiet is to describe both summer and winter. It is not so good.
May I have the following suggestions: ( skip the 1st two sentences in each stanza)
Spring is a season of romance
Buttterflies and bees in the flowers are happy to dance
Summer is a time for peace
like a young girl givng her mother a kiss
Autumn is a season getting mellow
Sharing good wine with an old fellow
Winter is a time of snow
when we can build a snowman with our buddy Joe
hope i can help you
Better if you have rhyming for the last sentences in the 3rd and 4th stanza!
幾中意段頭
Say Goodbye to the xxxx
Say Hello to the xxxx
俾我有種樂於接受時間,季節流逝樂觀之感..
然而..
我覺得句尾稍欠詩意..
宜多用押韻字
我的意見如下:
(1) If you like to use the first and second sentences this way( i.e. Say Goodbye and Say Hello), then I suggest the the last word in 3rd and 4th sentence of each stanza should be of rythme. The pattern is like
A
B
C
C
(2) Avoid usingt the word season at the end of the 3rd sentence so that you can find rythme words easier. For example , spring is a seaon of romance.
(3) quiet is to describe both summer and winter. It is not so good.
May I have the following suggestions: ( skip the 1st two sentences in each stanza)
Spring is a season of romance
Buttterflies and bees in the flowers are happy to dance
Summer is a time for peace
like a young girl givng her mother a kiss
Autumn is a season getting mellow
Sharing good wine with an old fellow
Winter is a time of snow
when we can build a snowman with our buddy Joe
hope i can help you
參考: me
2008-10-26 5:58 am
it's ok.
幾中意段頭
Say Goodbye to the xxxx
Say Hello to the xxxx
俾我有種樂於接受時間,季節流逝樂觀之感..
然而..
我覺得句尾稍欠詩意..
宜多用押韻字
只屬個人觀感@w@
繼續努力^_^
幾中意段頭
Say Goodbye to the xxxx
Say Hello to the xxxx
俾我有種樂於接受時間,季節流逝樂觀之感..
然而..
我覺得句尾稍欠詩意..
宜多用押韻字
只屬個人觀感@w@
繼續努力^_^
參考: none
2008-10-26 5:42 am
OK la....
Better if you have rhyming for the last sentences in the 3rd and 4th stanza!
Better if you have rhyming for the last sentences in the 3rd and 4th stanza!
參考: me
收錄日期: 2021-05-02 15:40:34
原文連結 [永久失效]:
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