英文作文 痳煩幫手睇吓 d 文法 (急!希望在10月19日7時前得到回覆)

Last Sunday, my parents took my sister and I (correct English grammar) to the Hong Kong Ocean Park. There were many kinds of animals on exhibition, such as monkey, dolphin, jellyfish and many more. They are looked very cute and lovely. I like them very much. We played amusement games which were fun, interesting and exciting. Among all of the games, I liked the the roller coaster the most since it rushed on forward very fast, giving me the funny feeling in my stomach which I enjoy very much. However, my sister did not ride it because she was afraid. We also watched (the correct verb of show is "watch") the dolphin show which was spectacular (spectacular is already a very strong adjective, no need for "very"). Even though we had to stand in line for a very long time, it was worth the wait. At the end of that day, I felt very happy and I hope my parents can bring me to Ocean Park again next time!

Last Sunday, my parents took my sister and I (correct English grammar) to the Hong Kong Ocean Park. There were many kinds of animals on exhibition, such as monkey, dolphin, jellyfish and many more. They are looked very cute and lovely. I like them very much. We played amusement games which were fun, interesting and exciting. Among all of the games, I liked the the roller coaster the most since it rushed on forward very fast, giving me the funny feeling in my stomach which I enjoy very much. However, my sister did not ride it because she was afraid. We also watched (the correct verb of show is " watch") the dolphin show which was spectacular (spectacular is already a very strong adjective, no need for "very"). Even though we had to stand in line for a very long time, it was worth the wait. At the end of that day, I felt very happy and I hope my parents can bring me to Ocean Park again next .

Last Sunday, my parents took my sister and to the Ocean Park in Hong Kong. In there , we saw many kinds of animals, for example, monkey,
(dolphins) and (jellyfish) etc. They looked very (cute) and lovely, I liked them very much. We played amusment games, they were very funny and interesting, of course , they were exciting too. Among all of them, I liked the (roller coaster) the most, as it is speedy. But my sister did not play it because she was afraid.
We also saw the (dolphins) show too. The show was (fascinating), despite the fact that we spent much time to wait for it to get started, but it was worthwhile . On that day , I felt very happy and I hoped we can go to the Ocean Park again.

A few remarks:
- Past tense should be used throughout the whole passage, please do not mix the tenses together if you are not capable =]
- Please do not use 'very' always, sometimes you need not use it to express your strong feeling towards something =]
- 'although' and 'but' cannot be used together, please remember that, as it is a common mistake for everyone =]
- When we are referring a day, always use 'on' but not 'in' =]
- Please check your spelling =]
- We normally mention somebody else before ourselves, i.e. my sister and me
- When you are writing a composition, please remember that short forms, i.e. it's, should not be used, they are informal =]
- 'time' is uncountable, so do not use 'many' but 'much' =]

Last Sunday, my parent took me and my sister to go to Hong Kong Ocean Park. There are many kinds of animals such as monkey, dolphin, jellyfish and so on. They looked very cute and lovely. I like them very much. We played amusement games which were very fun and interesting. They are exciting indeed. Among all of games, I like the most is the roller coaster since it is very fast which the feeling I like. Yet my sister did not try it because she was afraid of it. We also saw the dolphin show which was very spectacular. It's wroth to see even though we spent many time to wait for it to start. On that day, I felt very happy and I hope we can go to the Ocean Park next time.


p.s.I am not pretty sure of the mistakes, just for reference.

last Sanday, my parent took me and my sister went to the Ocean Park . In there , we saw many kinds of animals , such as monkeys,
dolphins .jellyfishs and son on . They looked very cute and lovely, and I like them very much.Also,we played anusment games, they were fun and interestng too .Among them the ride car is the most that I like best because it was fast and I like the exciting game . But my sister afraided of them so she did not play anymore.After that,we saw the most excellent (海豚) show that i have never seen. Finally, we felt happy and I hope we can go to the Ocean Park again.

P.S : 我已盡力help 你翻譯,但不竟我嘅英文都5係幾好,可能仲有好多錯嘅地方,sor !

2008-10-18 21:14:00 補充：
我5知 excellent好 d /wonderful 好 d !

2008-10-18 21:15:02 補充：
But my sister afraid of them

5係afraided

no [the] for Ocean Park
海豚:dolphin
水母:jellyfish
not [ect] it is [etc]
[Q]:qute
not[palyed] it is [played]
not[anusment] it is[amusment]
not[of couse] it is [of course]
not[I like the most is the 過山車] it is [I like the 過山車 most]
過山車 : roller coaster
she was afraid OF IT
we also saw the dolphin show too.The show...
精彩:(fantastic)都可以
to wait the show STARTED...
In that day I FELT...

(海豚)dolphin
(水母)jellyfish
(過山車)scenic railway/big dipper/roller coaster
(精彩)是沒有的，只有'(精彩的)wonderful

2008-10-19 12:40:14 補充：
(Q) is cute

2008-10-19 12:48:19 補充：
fantastic是解
adj.
幻想的, 奇異的, 稀奇古怪的, 荒謬的, 空想的

2008-10-19 12:50:34 補充：
沒有anusment這個字

2008-10-19 13:39:45 補充：
不是ect，是etc.

2008-10-19 13:43:39 補充：
第三行，不是palyed ， 是played，不是anusment，是amusment

2008-10-19 13:46:46 補充：
第三行，不是l like，是liked

2008-10-19 13:48:48 補充：
第三行l like是對的。

2008-10-19 13:52:18 補充：
第七行，不是althoght，although

2008-10-19 13:54:52 補充：
如果用although，後面一定唔可以用but
e.g Altough......................,.................

2008-10-19 13:55:34 補充：
or ...........................but..................

2008-10-19 13:56:47 補充：
不是
or...................but.............
意思是還可以用
e.g
...........................but..................