幫我番譯中文,唔該~

"I am for shizz up the spout," 16-year-old Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page) announces at the start of Jason Reitman's new comedy, in which the weighty subject of under-age pregnancy is treated in the breeziest terms imaginable.
Characteristically, Juno's first move is to call on the hamburger-shaped phone in her bedroom to "procure a hasty abortion".
But the fertility clinic proves unbearably depressing, what with its skanky punk receptionist handing out free condoms, and a lone protester chanting slogans out the front. And so, as insouciant as a screwball heroine of the 1930s, Juno decides instead to put her unborn child up for adoption, checking the classified ads for couples who are "desperately seeking spawn".
Reitman made a hero out of a tobacco-industry lobbyist in the contrarian satire Thank You For Smoking, and his follow-up, scripted by newcomer Diablo Cody, proves another right-wing stealth bomb. How convenient that this smart-mouthed teen cynic, a fan of Italian horror movies and Iggy Pop, should turn out to be a true believer in family values. And how Juno would be despised by her most obvious precursor, Enid Coleslaw from Terry Zwigoff's Ghost World (2001). Enid was also a kind of conservative, but beneath her relentless irony lay a real frustration with the models of identity offered by pop culture (mainstream or "alternative"). For Juno, the arty girls at school are the ones who want to become children's librarians, and her tell-it-like-it-is attitude is wholly removed from any sense that the world could be different or better.
With a score of songs by the Moldy Peaches that are the aural equivalent of smudged crayon drawings, Juno is a construct that threatens at every moment to induce nausea.
In handling Cody's exceedingly mannered dialogue, Reitman has no choice but to press down hard on the accelerator; the rhythms at times suggest an unusually scabrous episode of Gilmore Girls.