any grammatical mistake in my short email?

我的建議或想法
[1] 投訴電郵或信函的問端都適宜有簡短的開場口和自我介紹, 值此帶出投訴的原因.
[2] 正如你所講, 昨晚你忘記了帶手提外出, 而回家時被迫在大厦外等候, 直至有人外出, 你才可以進入. 那麼, 當時是沒有保安員當值嗎 (以致你無法求助)? 如果真的話, 投訴的內容可以加多一項, 就是職員「當職期間離開崗位」, 要求管理處提供合理的解釋.
[3] 多張卡失效, 令我懐疑並非卡的問題, 而是該系統本身或者電腦紀錄上出了毛病.
[4] 一般是向前線的保安員投訴無效, 問题仍沒有改善才會作出書面投訴.
__________________________________________________________


Dear Sir/Madam

I am the resident of block A, Flat 8. I am writing to complain about the continued access problem of block A. At least 4 of us from Flat 8 can’t use our cards to access our block recently. I have reported the problem to your security staff but it has remained unresolved for several days.

This has caused us a lot of inconvenience. I forgot to bring my mobile phone with me last night, so I had to stay outside block A for around 10 minutes until someone exited. While waiting outside the gate, I found your security staff was not at post and I couldn’t get any help. Could you provide a reasonable explanation for this?


Is it a card problem or a system problem? If it is a card problem, how do we get the replacements? If it is a system problem, I suggest that you leave the entrance gate of block A unlocked and increase your manpower in the meantime to maintain security until the problem is completely fixed. What will be your follow-up action? Please give me a formal reply as soon as possible.
Thank you for your assistance.

Best Wishes,
XXX

圖片參考：http://tw.yimg.com/i/tw/ugc/rte/smiley_1.gif


2008-10-06 04:54:31 補充：
用作進入大廈或者屋苑的門卡可稱為access cards, 而有關的保安系统一般可以稱為Access Control system, 或者Card Access security system. 所以我在email中用了"access problem" 和 "access our block" 等字.

http://www.bowdoin.edu/reslife/idcard/index.shtml

2008-10-06 04:58:46 補充：
ID. card info
- 第二段尾: Several administrative buildings and most computer labs require an ID card to gain ACCESS.

- 第三段頭: Students have access to their own residence hall 24 hours a day. All students have ACCESS to all residence halls between the hours of 7:00 a.m. and 1:00 a.m.

2008-10-06 05:03:20 補充：
Broken or lost cards
- 第一段頭: You must have a working ID card to ACCESS buildings on the system

2008-10-09 17:23:29 補充：
Business letters 的結尾可否用Warm wishes呢?　係可以

http://www.businesswritingblog.com/business_writing/2006/01/with_best_wishe.html

Very truly yours,
Respectfully,
Yours truly,
Sincerely yours,
Sincerely,
Best regards,
Regards,
Cordially,
With many thanks,
Warm wishes,

2008-10-09 17:27:23 補充：
所以你的Best wishes(email结尾)應該都可以.

Dear Sir/Madam

At least four tenants in Block A cannot use their cards to open the entrance door of Block A.
I did not bring my mobile phone one night, so I had to stay outside for ten minutes until someone came out.
This causes a lot of inconvenience. I suggest that the entrance should be left open until further notices.

Thankyou for the kind attention.

Yours sincerely,
XXX

Dear Sir/Madam
Faulty Entrance Cards

At least 4 tenants could not use our cards to open the main entrance of Block A, Flat 8 last night. I have not brought my mobile phone with me, and I have to wait outside the main entrance for 10 minutes until someone came out.
This cause us a lot of inconvenience. I suggest you to keep the main entrance of Block A open until you arrange to have our cards renewed.
Regards
XXXX

Dear Sir/Madam,

I would like to let you know at least 4 people cannot use their cards for the entrance to Block A.

It is very inconvenience for us. For instance, I left my cellular phone last night inside the block A. I just wait and near the door until somebody leaves to let me enter to Block A.

Can you please help us to renew our cards for the entrance to Block A?

Best Wishes,
XXX