(15點)英文介紹(oral)

我的時式有否用錯, 是否應全部使用past tense? – No, because you are talking about both existing and past events, so you have to use different tenses according to its timing.
Many people think that( no ,) Red Cross only has one symbol, which is (cannot use ‘Yes” because this is not a reasonable connection with what you are going to talk about – the 3 symbols) (no “,it’s about”) a red cross with white background. Actually, the Red Cross has three symbols, they’re the red cross, the red crescent and (no also) the red crystal.
The idea of the first symbol (no is the) red cross came (since we are now talking about the idea which happened a long time ago, we should use past tense) from the Red Cross founder-- Henri Dunant. He was a Helvetian. Therefore, he created a symbol like the Helvetian national flag but in (no the) reversed color.

In 1875, The Red Cross (we use capital letter here because The Red Cross was already a name of an organization) extended its activities (we cannot just say The Red Cross extended to the Middle East because “an organization” cannot extend, only “its activities” or “influence” can extend)to the Middle East . The Moslem didn’t accept this symbol because they thought that the cross (no was – not passive voice) belonged to Catholicism. Finally, The Red Cross used the red crescent (we cannot use moon because we have be very specific and use crescent since in the middle east there was never a red moon -- usually means round in shape) as its (there is only one Red Cross at all time, so we cannot use “their”) symbol and changed its name to Red Crescent in the Middle East. In 1992, the Hebrew wanted to change the symbol of The Red Cross to David’s star in Israel but The Red Cross didn’t approve it. It (no was) afraid that if it allowed Hebrew to change the symbol in Israel, other countries would request to change their symbol too.

2008-09-23 01:31:54 補充：
The third symbol of The Red Cross which was a red crystal was affirmed at 2007 (please explain where is this symbol used). The red cross only admits these three symbols now

the following is my proofreading which only has a minor difference to baggio4182007's. words in the brackets are my proofreading.

Many people think that(<--you can even delete this word.) Red Cross only has one symbol, which is a red cross with white background. Actually, the Red Cross has three symbols (which are) the red cross, the red crescent (as well as) the red crystal.

The idea of the first symbol(,) red cross(,) came from the Red Cross founder(,) Henri Dunant. He was a Helvetian. Therfore, he created a symbol (which was similar to) the Helvetian national flag but in reversed color.

In 1875, The Red Cross extended its activities (in) the Middle East . (Unfortunately), the Moslem didn't accept this symbol because they thought the cross belonged to Catholicism. (As a result), The Red Cross used the red crescent as its symbol (instead of the red cross) and also changed its name to Red Crescent in the Middle East.

In 1992, the Hebrew wanted to change the symbol of The Red Cross to (the Star of David) in Israel but The Red Cross didn't approve it. (they) [<-- i consider "The Red Cross" here as a collective noun, just like "team"(eg. The team didn't try 'their' best.), so i'll use"they" as the pronoun of it.] (were) afraid that if (they) allowed Hebrew to change the symbol in Israel, other countries would request to (do so).

(Finally), the third symbol(,) (the red crystal)(,) was affirmed (in) 2007.

(Nowadays), The Red Cross only admit (these) three symbol(s) as its official (signs)

2008-09-23 18:55:31 補充：
Correction!!!

Actually, ((((The)))) Red Cross has three symbols (which are) the red cross, the red crescent (as well as) the red crystal.

The idea of the first symbol(,) ((((the)))) red cross(,) came from the Red Cross founder(,) Henri Dunant. He was a Helvetian.

2008-09-23 19:00:13 補充：
After discussing with some people, we think the word "the" in the "The Red Cross" should be started as lower case. SO, better to change all the "The"s into "the" in the passage unless "the" is the start of the sentence.

The Red Cross has now three symbols, namely, red cross, red moon and red crystal.
The oldest symbol is the red cross. The idea of it is from the Helvetian national flag with reversed color. In 1875, the red cross extended to the Middle East.

2008-09-22 21:38:01 補充：
However, the Moslem didn’t accept this symbol because they thought that the cross was belonging to Catholicism. Finally, the red moon was used as the symbol and changed its name to Red Crescent in the Middle East.

2008-09-22 21:38:45 補充：
In 1992, the Hebrew wanted to change the symbol to David’s star but the Red Cross didn’t allow it. They was afraid that if they allowed the Hebrew to change the symbol , another country would raise the same request too.

2008-09-22 21:38:53 補充：
The third symbol of red cross was affirmed in 2007. Now, the Red Cross only admits these three symbols.

我改這些只是我覺得改了比較好, 並不代表你的一定錯.

1. There are three types of symbol representing Red Cross.
2. In 1875 when Red Cross extended to the Middle East, the Moslem didn't accept their symbol because...
3. Therefore (如有因果關係用Therefore比較好, 因為Finally一般代表幾經波折才做到的事), Red Cross changed their symbol to a red moon and changed their name to Red Crescent in Middle East. (這裡我覺得有點奇怪, 因為改名好像和Moslem反對紅十字標誌無關, 似乎不應該用 and )
4. In 1992, Hebrew wanted to...but Red Cross didn't accept.
5. Hebrew 是否 country? 如是民族可用 other nations
6. Then the third symbol... Then之前完全沒有提及過第三個標誌如何出現, 如只想陳述第三個標誌的成立日期, 可用 The third symbol of Red Cross is a red crystal which was affirmed in 2007. Until now, Red Cross only admit these three symbols as their offical representation.

2008-09-22 21:14:04 補充：
最後一句 Until now, Red Cross only admit"s" these three symbols as their offical representation.