{急, 20分}想問下呢篇野寫得有冇錯..

Passive 是被動的意思。在文中你說 passive, 被動是你的弱點, 那麼這和你之前所說, "I will go and help them before they come to ask for help", 有衝突。既然你的性格被動, 那為甚麼會人地未要你幫你就非常主動地幫人呢?

"I am very polite and caring" 這句雖然文法上沒有大問題, 但在英語裡, 當你對人說 "我很有禮貌同很關心人", 這不多不少有點自大的味道。當然, 在一場合裡, 需要直接強調自己的長處, 如見工面試的時, 這樣說不但不覺你自大, 反而有自信的感覺。不過在一般情況的自我介紹會比較少這樣說。

"..I think this is one of my defect" 弱點的英文並不是 defect, 而是 weakness。 Defect 是指有問題或壞掉了的地方, 並不用在人身上, 如果你說你有 defect, 那你不是說你壞掉了嗎?

"This is the end of myself introduction." 在中文作文中你也不會說, "這是我文章的完結", 何況在英文裡。而且, 我的自我介紹的英文是, "my self-introduction", 並不是 "myself introduction", "myself" 是解自己。

你可以參考一下以下的寫法:
Good morning, everyone. My name is Maggie and I am XX years old. I am very caring for people and enjoy helping anyone who is in need, and people are often said I am very nice and polite. However, passive is one of my weaknesses. I often feel shy to be the first one who stands out when someone was asking for help. I would like to improve that by volunteering and be more active. Thank you very much for your time, and I wish you all have a good day.

中譯:
各位早晨。我的名字叫 Maggie, 現年 XX 歲。我很喜歡關心別人和幫助有需要的人, 因此, 很多人都讚我很和善和很有禮貌。但是, 我缺點之一是我比較被動。很多時候, 當有人需要幫助, 我會害怕第一個主動站出來回應。我希望可以從做義工中改善這個缺點, 變得活躍。非常多謝你們寶貴的時間, 希望你們能有愉快的一天。

Good morning, everyone! My name is Maggie. I am a very polite and caring person. I used to be a little bit passive. But my caring nature has overcome this weakness. Now when I see people in need, I would go and help them before they come to ask for help. When someone help me, I would always say 'thank you' . Thank you for letting me introduce myself to you.