Grammar checking

During the school holiday started in July, many students went to other
countries for a short term trip. I also went to (mainland) china with my
classmate, Alan, who is my best friend. We decided to go to Shanghai
for a (two-day) journey . We booked the hotel and train tickets ('by' is crossed out) ourselves.

After (having) breakfast (on) the first day, we went to a famous shopping centre
where (was) located near ('by' is crossed out) our hotel. There were many famous brand name shops ('in' is crossed out) there such as YSL and Channel. We (spent) much money to buy something that we (liked) (until) we hadn't any money in our pockets.

(On) the last day of our trip, we visited the goods market which (were) (crowded
with tourists.We (had) bought many gifts and felt very happy.
We ('had' is crossed out) experienced a nice journey in this summer.

!!!!words in the brackets are my amendment.!!!!







here's the passage without brackets.

During the school holiday started in July, many students went to other
countries for a short term trip. I also went to mainland China with my
classmate, Alan, who is my best friend. We decided to go to Shanghai
for a two-day journey . We booked the hotel and train tickets ourselves.

After having breakfast on the first day, we went to a famous shopping centre
where was located near our hotel. There were many famous brand name shops there such as YSL and Channel. We spent much money to buy something that we liked until we hadn't any money in our pockets.

On the last day of our trip, we visited the goods market which were crowded
with tourists.We had bought many gifts and felt very happy.
We experienced a nice journey in this summer.


if you wanna know the reasons behind the amendments,
please send me an email.

All no question! No problem! If I am teacher, I will give you 98 marks! Because something you miss A B C! That's a high marks! And grammer no wrong, it is good!

*During the school holiday started in July, many students went to other
countries for a short term trip. **I also went to main land china with my
classmate, Alan, who is my best friend. ***We decided to go to Shanghai
for a two days journey . ****We booked the hotel and train tickets by ourselves.
*****After the breakfast in the first day, we went to a famous shopping centre
where located near by our hotel. ******There were many famous brand name
shops in there such as YSL and Channel. *******We spend much money to buy
something that we like unless we hadn’t any money in our pockets.
At the last day of our trip, we visited the goods market which crowd
with tourists.********We bought many gifts and felt very happy.
*********We had experienced a nice journey in this summer.

*During the school holiday, which was started in July, many students went to the neighboring countries for a short vacation.
- For 'during the school holiday started in July', there is no big problems except that it is quite hard for the readers to understand
- it's a 'short trip', that means they couldn't go far, better specify it's 'the neighboring countries'
- 'short term' is a wrong usage of phrases, you should use 'short' instead

** For me, I went to the main land China together with my classmate, Alan, who was my best friend.
- 'also' doesn't seem a right linking word here. This sentence is quite irrelevent with the previous one so 'also' should not be used.
- Better stick with past tense

*** We decided to go to Shandhai for a two-day trip.
- With the article 'a', you should link the 'two days' together, it becomes 'two-day trip' then, or you can also delete the 'a' and followed by 'two days'

2008-09-12 23:33:14 補充：
can't write all = =

冇錯呀!!!我係Microsoft Word Check 過la。