do you think this could actually be the case?

2008-08-22 10:21 pm
I was engaged to a guy who is pakistani and I am black. We had what seemed like a wonderful relationship and all of a sudden he seemed distant and different. He began talking more of his muslim religion and the fact he was going to become very strict in practicing it. I am not muslim and he was aware of that when we began dating. He proposed to me and gave me a ring. To make a long story short.....right up to the last he claimed all was well between us and nothing was wrong, but I could feel he was acting different and out of character. The last time I saw him was at his place and as i was walking away he said" I love you"; and I said it back to him. Just something about how he said it i
knew it was over between us and from that day till now I have never seen or spoken to him again. Yesterday I saw on his MSN profile an update that he had gotten married!! My cousin thinks maybe his family arranged this marriage and he just couldn't tell me what was going on for fear of hurting me. When he and I met that last time..I caught him staring at me when he didn't think i was looking and when i looked at him he put his head down. I just feel he wanted to say something. I don't think he was cheating, but my quiestion is....in the Pakistani culture, how important is it to marry and date in your own religion and race? Thank you for any help. my heart is broken and I'm just looking for answers.
更新1:

moby...I know it seems weird that i still love him, but the fact is..he actually treated me very kind until all this took place. It's hard to explain, but sometimes love just overrides logic i guess.

回答 (6)

2008-08-22 10:29 pm
✔ 最佳答案
You hit the nail on the head. He probably loves you and wanted to marry you, but his culture and religion forbade it. He seems like his was torn between you and his beliefs. Since he went ahead and chose marriage with someone else (who is probably the same religion, etc) you know his decision. You should move on. He made up his mind and you should fix yours with someone who wants you for everything you are and will always be.
2008-08-23 5:28 am
They all do that. There is no way they are going to differ from the normal wedding they have set up. It is not considered wrong to string along a non-pakistani girl until you are married.

The fact you are a black non muslim would make marriage unlikely. Family ties among Pakistanis make the Sicilians look laid back.
2008-08-23 5:28 am
All I know it's very important for them to marry with the same race and most importantly, the same religion. I've seem too many people in your situation and ended up married with the same type. Don't be sad, it's not your problems...it's just fate....
2008-08-23 5:28 am
what a sad story : ( well I am not muslim but it is my understanding that it is very important for them to marry someone within their religion. If I'm not mistaken, parents often arrange marriages for their children. I am truely sorry your relationship ended the way it did, I can't imagine the pain for both sides.
2008-08-23 5:35 am
That guy hurt you bad; it's weird you can still love him. After all, this happened in the West, not Pakistan, he could have levelled with you. I hate him now. Better if he had been a suicide bomber.
2008-08-23 5:24 am
whateve

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