From major depression to anxiety depression then biopolar depression, I have been through all stages. I know how painful, dramatic changes of emotion and those horrible thoughts in the minds which really eat your minds up. I have been on medication too but I stopped it by myself painfully. I used my strong mind will of power, to keep on telling myself that I have to be strong enough to deal with this problems, for myself, for my kids and my loved parents.
It will be hard but it do work, you better try not to take too much medication, it is a "slowly killing your mind" there are too many side effects. Try to think more happy thoughts, do something that will cheer you up, watch more happy moives, try to enjoy your life. You will see the different and you will be getting better.