幫幫手,改文 10分!

2008-08-10 7:21 am

"Sure,I am able to bear this pain,I am a real man!" Pat screamed

unflinchongly."Haha!I know that"I chuckled and then dashed towards terminal

point as the teachers were on there.I spared no effort to run so that I could catc

h up with the

crowed rapidly.The more distance I had ran, the less physical power was

remained.Exhaused as I feel,I was also running unremittingly.

"Congulations!Peter,you're the champion!"Miss Wong yelled at me out

of the blue.Oh! How unbelivevable and amazing ! I was definitely aghast and

told the accident to Miss Wong.

Tomorrow, I visited Pat in the hospital and told him the news that I was

the winner." I got hurt in order to arouse your potential so you should thank

me !" Pat grumbled. "Haha!I know that."I giggled loudly again.

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最好比埋改善建議,冇都冇所謂

回答 (1)

用戶23256

2008-08-10 8:19 pm

✔ 最佳答案

"Sure, I am able to bear the pain, I am the man (real man is a bit odd)!" Pat screamed (what is unflinchongly??) . "Haha, I know that." I chuckled and I rushed to the terminal point where (not as) the teachers were there ("there" is an adverb). I was weary so that I could catch up with the crowed rapidly.The more distance I had ran, the less energy was. I was exhausted, but still I ran unremittingly.

"Congratulation (not congulations) Peter, you won the champion!" Miss Wong yelled (no need to write "at me") out of the blue. Oh! How unbelievable (not unbelivevable) and amazing! I was definitely aghast and told the accident (accident? I don't understand) to Miss Wong.

On the next day (not tomorrow because you wrote in past tense on the following sentences), I visited Pat in hospital and told him the news that I was the winner." I got hurt in order to arouse your potential so you should thank
me !" Pat grumbled. "Haha, I know that."I giggled loudly again.

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