改善英文行動 46. 希望大家盡力幫忙

Home studying provide children more freedom as they can eat snacks while reading books. However, there are a lot of disadvantages.
"can make children feel free "<= this may mislead readers that studying outdoors is not free. We need to make a comparsion between home and outside.

First of all, it is difficult for children to find help at home. If they don't understand the content in their textbooks, they cannot seek help.
"Firstly, children are learning by themselves,"<= self learning is not a disadvantage. And you should not use Firstly, since you do not use secondly...also,,you should have topic sentence.
Particularly science subjects which are very abstract. It would be better if children are taught by professional teachers.
"children have better to be teached by teachers."<= this sentence has serious grammatic mistake!

Some people say that children could study irregularly at home, so they could concentrate on the subjects which they are not good at.
"Some people say......"<= this is reported speech, so the content's tenses should be changed. Also "concentrat in" is not correct!

Yes, it is correct if those children are diligent.
"you say correctly"<- is cantonese!
However, some children are lazy in Hong Kong, so they will take that as an excuse of not studying. Therefore, children need a regular time table for studying, and studying at schools is the best choice.

除了樓上所講的, 我仲有少少野想指正:

"such as they can eat snacks during reading books" --- 呢個唔係一個明顯的advantage, 擺係第一句意思不大, 做唔到contrast. 可以換另一個說法, 不過同第3段的設問有d相似:"home studying helps children to learn better as the syllabus can be adjusted flexibly according to their own need"

"if they don't understand some questions" ---有d廣東式, 或者可以話:"if they have some questions"

"a excuse" --- "an excuse"

"avoid studying" ---係廣東式, 應該係"shirk their study"


身為一個中四學生, 能力比較有限
點都好, 希望幫到你啦 ^^