改善英文行動 45. 希望大家盡力幫忙

What things about living in a big city do you not like? (You can change the question to : What are the disadvantages that you think for living in a big city ?)


First of all, there are a lot of air pollution in a big city because of machines (using “machine” implies that the city is an industrial city, but I believe this is not what you want to talk about. You just want to talk about big city in general. So I suggest you to change “machine” to “too many electrical devices and air polluted transportation”). The air pollution will affect our respiratory system and causes respiratory diseases easily. Also, we cannot see the beautiful stars as those stars are hid by air pollution and lighting of buildings, how unfortunate it is ! (Using an appropriate punctuation can make your essay more impressive.)

In addition, most people just use money as their value standard in a big city. They only want to take advantages of other people, or vice versa. (Just using “vice versa” may not explain your idea completely. May be you can consider adding something like : or vice versa, they will be taken advantage by other people.) They almost don't know how to enjoy the nature such as lying on a lawn as well as watching (we use watch, not see, because see is referring to a short moment, while watch refers to a longer time and often with a hidden meaning of appreciation) the sky.

You also agreed with me, don't you?

2008-07-21 03:57:36 補充：
hide has 2 past participle which has the same meaning :

hid or hidden - both are correct.

What things about living in a big city do you not like?First of all, air pollution [1] is usually (or generally) serious in a big city because of industries. The [2] polluted air will affect our respiratory system and cause respiratory diseases easily. Also, we cannot see the beautiful stars as the [3] clear sky is obscured by air pollution. How unfortunate it is!! In addition, most people are [4] money-oriented in a big city. They only want to take advantage of other people. They almost don't know how to enjoy the nature such as lying on a lawn [5] to gaze at the sky during the night.

You also [6] agree with me, don't you?

[1] 我唔用 a lot of pollution, 只係提及pollution係嚴重。
[2] 為咗可以無噤單調, 我將改做polluted air。

[3] Obscure = 使陰暗,隱藏,使含糊, 可以取代 hide。

[4] 如果要形容人們只管著重金錢, 你可以用money–oriented. 或者更甚, 可以用snobbish (勢利的)
以下提供另一個例子俾你, 睇下怎樣運用oriented:

answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070903124122AAJobAd Interest oriented career or money oriented?I’m going to start college soon, now that I have a part time job, I’m able to pay for college. Although in UAE there are no good universities I’m planning to go for University of London External Programmes.
Now my parents want me to study something that will bring me money, something in business or interior designing etc.
But I want a job which I will like. I’ve always loved learning history and telling people about it, especially the middle ages. And I love museums also. Are "history learners" paid decently?

[5] Gazing at the sky... 凝望著天空 (知識友pinknaggression的建議好好, 你可以用Gazing at the sky 但係佢講到唔可以用a lot of 來形容 plural nouns, 我就覺得唔係, 例如我地會話… a lot of people… 當中people 都係plural)

另外, 我覺得最好唔用as well as, 因為lying on a lawn 和gazing at the sky應該係同一情況下, 同時進行的兩個動作, 所以我改為lying on a lawn to gaze at the sky during the night。
[6] agree不應用past tense。

What things about living in a big city do you not like?
what things實在太chinglish, what己經有"咩野"o既意思,所以只需要有what
what don't you like (先問左你O既問題) about living in a big city (再講個情境係咩)



First of all, there are a lot of air pollution in a big city
air pollution數唔到!! 唔可以用a lot of
你可以話the problem of air pollution is very serious

because of machines.
machines??? 你指O既係vehicles? (交通工具)定係industrial sources, e.g. factories, generation plants etc. (工業污染)


Air pollution (唔要the) affectS (現在式,因為係常常都o岩o既野, 如果你用將來式,即係而家唔影響,將來先影響,所以現在式就ok）our respiratory system and


causeS respiratory diseases easily. (有少少chinglish,你可以講 increases the risk of (getting) respiratory diseases)


Also, we cannot see the beautiful stars as those stars are hidDEN by (被動式, be+ past participles = hide hid hidden) air pollution (呢個描述唔準確bor,因為星星係被雲/污染物遮住,如果你要寫,可以寫hidden by smog / pollutants / polluted clouds). How unfortunate it is!

In addition, most people just like money in a big city.
In addition, most people living in THIS big city (唔可以再用a啦, 因為之前已經提過呢個big city) just CARE ABOUT money.


They only want to take advantages of other people, vice versa. (點解要用vice versa??? vice versa係反之亦然喎,你唔係比較緊兩班人喎)

They almost don't enjoy the nature such as lying on a lawn (I prefer using the word "grass" instead of "lawn) OR seeing (i prefer using "gazing") the sky.

You also agree (現在式~~ 講緊觀點!同埋你個question tag 都係講緊don"t you, 係現在試,兩個tense要match) with me, don't you?