I'm les but she is not les. Shs is older than for 9years

In my opinion, your problems are

1)Your age difference
2)Your difference in sex orientation
3)Her bad temper
4)Your communication problem

For the first 2 things, there is nothing you can do to change the reality. Just let it be!! As your partner has the presumption that you are younger than her so you are childish, you have to behave more maturely. Ask your close friends about their advice. Read more books for some inspirations. As for her sex orientation, it is up to her to make what is her final choice and you’d better not force her to take your preferred option. You need to accept the reality.

Another thing you have to pay attention to is her bad temper. When you feel like losing your emotional control, take a deep breath, keep silent for a moment and let yourself cool down a little bit. Give more patience when you are discussing some sensitive issues. Select a more relaxing environment to do so. A lounge with light music in a dim environment may be a perfect place for you. Do not talk on the phone if she feels annoyed. Just respect her decision and show your value for her.

Achieving good communication with others is not an easy task. In real-life situations, we even have to attend courses for learning the skills. My advice is that you have to try your best from your heart. Confess to her what your inner feelings are. Figure out some constructive solutions for solving problems. Do not grumble. Avoid using vigorous or provocative wordings that will only make things worse. Good luck to you and your friend!!