煩請大家幫我批改一下 : )

移動電話就是其中的必要性我們的生活。討論。

正如有句俗話： “沒有花園是無雜草” 。沒有例外，討論是否或不移動電話就是其中的必要性，我們的生命是一個非常具爭議性的一個。有兩岸人民的論據，誰有非常強烈的感覺;因此，他們很少達到一個絕對的共識。

使用移動電話和進行，它為每第二，正如我們的衣服，似乎有一些缺點。首先，它是說，移動電話會產生大量的電磁輻射是危害我們的健康，根據與許多科研。其次，移動電話，可能給我們帶來很多的干擾，甚至危險，從我們可能蒙受損失。更甚的是，人可能得到財政困難，如果他們超過聊天，並認為收費均超過其預算。

很多人則認為，這是沒有問題，我們廣泛使用手提電話。首先，這是非常費時，以郵寄或溝通會議，在面對面的，而通過移動電話，我們正給予的權利，節省的時間和溝通，任何人在任何時候和任何地方。此外，觸摸式木說，如果我們得到任何意外發生，或需要處理的一個迫在眉睫的事件，移動電話通常是扮演一個確定的角色，改變的結果。最後的優點是，移動電話可以提供不同類型的康樂在漫長的行程的旅行，這是有用的為我們的放寬。

我認為，如果我們採取審慎的考慮，這是明智的支持聲明中指出，手機是更加有利的。不僅這些良好的點，我剛才提到的上述情況，而且大部分的壞所帶來的影響，從手機可以預防的，通過提高技術和建立的概念，自我控制。這樣，我們可以感受到，在輕鬆享受便利所帶來的移動電話。

Mobile phone is one of the necessaries of our lives. Discuss.

Just as the saying goes: “no garden is without weeds”. Without exception, the discussion about whether or not mobile phone is one of the necessaries of our lives is a very controversial one. There are people on both sides of the argument who have very strong feeling; therefore, they seldom reach an absolute consensus.

Using mobile phone and carrying it for every second, just as our clothes, does seem to have a number of disadvantages. Firstly, it is said that mobile phone would emit a lot of electromagnetic radiation which is hazardous to our health in accordance with many scientific researches. Secondly, mobile phone may probably bring us many DISTURBANCES and even danger from which we may suffer. What is more, people might get the financial trouble if they were over chatting and that the charges were over their budget.

Many people, however, argue that it is no problem for us to widely use [“of” is not necessary] mobile phone. Firstly, it is extremely time consuming by mail communication or meeting-in-face, while through mobile phone, we are given the CONVENIENCE OF SAVING THE TIME TO communicate to anyone [“at” is not necessary] anytime and anywhere. Moreover, touch-wood to say, if we get any accident or need to handle an imminent event, mobile phone usually plays a determinate role to change the result. The last advantage is that mobile phone can provide different kinds of recreation in the long TRIPS [“of traveling” is not necessary], which is useful for our relaxation.

In my opinion, if we take a careful consideration, it is sagacious to support the statement that mobile phone is more advantageous. IN ADDITION TO these good points I have mentioned above, most of the bad effects brought from mobile phone could be prevented by improving the technologies and establishing the concept of self-controlling. In this way, we can feel at EASE ENJOYING the convenience brought ABOUT by mobile phone.

I have corrested your passage, you can have a look now:


Mobile phone is one of the necessaries for our lives. Discussion.

Just as the saying goes: “No garden is without weeds”. Without exception, the discussion about whether or not mobile phone is one of the necessaries of our lives is a very controversial one. There are people on both sides of the argument who have a very strong feeling; therefore, they seldom reach an absolute consensus.

Using mobile phone and carrying it for every second, just as our clothes. Does it seem to have a number of disadvantages? Firstly, mobile phone would emit a lot of electromagnetic radiation which is hazardous to our health in accordance with many scientific researches. Secondly, mobile phone may probably bring us many disturbance and even danger from which we may suffer. What is more, people might get the financial trouble if they were over chatting and that the charges were over their budget.

Many people, however, argue that it is no problem for us to widely use of mobile phone. Firstly, it is extremely time consuming by mail communication or meeting-in-face, while through mobile phone, we are given the right to save the time and communicate to anyone at anytime and anywhere. Moreover, touch-wood to say, if we get any accident or need to handle an imminent event, mobile phone usually plays a determinate role to change the result. The last advantage is that mobile phone can provide different kinds of recreation in the long trip of traveling, which is useful for our relaxation.

For my opinion, if we take a careful consideration, it would sagacious to support the statement that mobile phone is more advantagerous. Not only these good points I have mentioned above but most of the bad effects brought from mobile phone could be prevented by improving the technologies and establishing the concept of self-controlling. In this way, we can feel at easy enjoy the convenience brought by mobile phone.

2008-07-12 17:24:26 補充：
I am sorry, the first sentence I write should be, "I have corrected your passage, you can have a look now .

大致上沒什麽問題，可惜下面兩個字解釋唔到中文

necessaries self-controlling