✔ 最佳答案
(一開始介紹自己寫的題目)The trend of the crime rate for young women, who commit crimes, is increasing recently. (舉例)
In my view, ............................communication channels (溝通平台 platform好少少). Young women .................................messenger. As we do not know the backgrounds of the friends (用stranger就比較精簡) in the internet(Internet一定是大楷, 無論是句子中間) completely, ...........get into bad companies(差的陪伴? 不如好直接說壞影響 bad influence) easily. Then, ......................, they may do the things (What代替things好少少) they want to do. If some of their friends have bad minds (ideas代替minds好少少) and suggest (persuade代替suggest好少少) stealing or bullying, young women may just follow-suit in order to support their friends (同輩壓力peer pressure就代替全句). Young women are not mature(不成熟immature就ok, 盡量直接用反義詞, 少加not) enough and are easily swayed by the others. Therefore, they will(will 是指 [一定] 發生, 你肯定? 假設用may或者could) make mistakes(什麼mistakes, 有灰色地帶, 直接用commit crimes清楚一點) easily ..........increasing.
Though the crime rate of young women is increasing, there are (要加量詞. 例如a lot of, plenty of, 唔可以無量詞)solutions which can solve(用fix the problems 都好, 避免經常重覆這數十字好悶) the problems. First, parents ............in an effort to know(realize了解情度深入, know知道是比較膚淺的知道) their situations entirely and give them appropriate advices. Second, the college should held some talks(do counselling做輔導代替全句) to inculcate right attitudes into young students' minds so that young women will not follow people' instructions blindly when they grow up(during their studylife學習生活比較好). Having a right attitude..........., the crime rate of young women will(用must比較好) certainly decrease to a less serious extent (這句可省略).
生字不足夠, 要用字準確
少用重覆字, 避免令人沉悶
不要太多代名詞, he, she it, the things, somethings. 用太多唔知道你指什麼.....
grammar 都OK
盡量用單字代替全句, 太累贅!
提議任何事, 要知道程度, 肯定, 機會高, 機會低, 可能 (could, would, will is going to, should, ought, might, have to, need to)要清楚.
IELTS 5.5 左右啦!!!
(只屬個人意見)
2008-07-10 16:07:29 補充：
你考完 IELTS 我都想知道你這PART的寫作分數!
2008-07-20 13:21:09 補充：
advice邊有得加s ga 你唔好玩我wo
但OXFORD, CAMBRIDGE都是劃一
ADVICE, SUGGESTION, IDEA ( 通通可以是眾數, 自己查字典就知道, 無須多講 )
INFORMATION (單數)
GRAMMAR 最混合地方是很多 [ 例外 ], 以為數不到, [ 其實可以數 ]
(你真係要努力做GRAMMAR書)
2008-07-20 13:24:03 補充：
次次都用單字 唔用一d複雜句子 篇文就會好易短
我寫已經比較簡單, 有看 SCMP 報紙.
當中很多深字代替 [ 全句 ] . 深字是 [一針見血], 短文可說成一樣的內容.
其他人用 100 字, 你 70 字就已經OK
2008-07-20 13:25:50 補充：
找多一些 POINTS 寫
唔好用長句為了只是 [ 增加字數 ] 過 250字
2008-07-20 13:29:18 補充：
我俾 6 - 7 分無所謂,
最重要 IELTS 考官如何俾分.
我在澳洲大學, 香港又讀大學. 其實他們的英文作文及 IELTS 成績已經大約 [ 估到 ].
你有 IELTS 寫文 話給我聽 [ 準唔準確 ]
2008-07-20 18:39:42 補充：
你又問 [ advice邊有得加s ga 你唔好玩我wo ] 這個問題? 唉...?
我已經過了會考年齡, 我學術已經 [ 上左岸 ]. 又大學, 又大公司請. 我唔同你啦!!!
最重要 IELTS 考官如何俾分. 我都話看一看考官如果評分再講!!!
2008-07-20 18:46:01 補充：
有沒有看澳洲大學收生? [ 大學基礎課程 ] 入學.
澳洲名校都說 [ 中五會考有 C 級] = [ IELTS 5.5成績 ]
( 有個會考C現在都很蚊水升本地大學, 一點也不穩陣, AL的英文通常都跌 2 級. 即是 E)
所以我有估中大約分數..
唔信...?
可以看 [ 悉尼大學 ], [ 墨爾本大學 ], [ UNSW ] 等等... 網頁 [清清楚楚]
2008-07-20 20:21:25 補充：
好難令人信服. ADVISE 這個字... 還大聲說什麼 [ advice邊有得加s ga ]
SINGLE & PLURAL (單數眾數) 是中三四的GRAMMAR. 中七又話有英文C...?
2008-07-20 20:22:32 補充：
入本地大學. 很多 UE 都有 C. 唔好成日al英文有3份卷c就 [了不起]. HKU, CUHK很多學系同學都 A 或者 B.
young women may just follow-suit in order to support their friends (一句用 peer pressure 代替)
the backgrounds of the friends (一句用stranger代替)
中七有英文 C 就唔會 [ 寫全句 ] 啦!!!
2008-07-20 20:27:52 補充：
Though the crime rate of young women is increasing, there are (要加量詞. 例如a lot of, plenty of, 唔可以無量詞)solutions
量詞又 [ 漏 ].
[will], [may], [could] 又亂用. 你假設邊有人用 will...? 你好肯定咩?
2008-07-20 20:34:38 補充：
Second, the college should held some talks(do counselling做輔導代替全句) ----做輔導好深咩?
internet(Internet一定是大楷, 無論是句子中間) completely ---- ( Internet 要大寫, 中學第一日教Internet 咩?)
英文要 [ 牛津大學英文博士 ] 先識咩?
大佬!! 中七嘞! 你估低班咩. [[[[ 你錯的文法大基本 ]]]]]
仲話 [ al 英文 grade c ], 唔知你點攞 grade c
2008-07-20 20:41:44 補充：
但如果唔係改過卷既 就唔好話我估到個分
==========================================================
你有本事.... 你咪叫其他人幫手CHECK囉....
[ 只要英文grammar普通的人, 一看已經多基本的錯, =======是基本========= ], 他們全部就知道你分數.....
IELTS 6.0的成績是 UE科的GRADE E. (IELTS 6.0本地 U 唔多收, 除中文系其他)
最少本地大學收 IELTS 6.5 (GRADE D) 唔信自己看大學官方網....
2008-07-20 20:46:31 補充：
我都是讀了 30 秒, 已經很多錯...
(第一句)
In my view, the crime rate of young women is increasing can be attributed to two possible reasons. First, there are more communication channels
文章 INTRODUCTION 都沒有, 一開始就 in my view....
introduction, body, conclusion 三部分 (基本開始) 又沒有.....
[[[ 一開始就 in my view.... ]]]
