改善英文行動二十九. 希望大家盡力幫忙

又唔駛講狠心批改o既.... 狠心o既就無咁好氣幫你改啦!



以下係依據我個人所學提出小小見解:

Yesterday, I went to graduation dinner at 7 o'clock.
呢句唔清楚,同埋你個grad din係七點開始,定係你七點開始去grad din呢? 加上故事一開始,多數會俾埋時地人,所以你可以改成: I went to ABC Hotel for my Graduation Dinner yesterday. The dinner started at 7.

There have been a lot of students and teachers when I arrived.
點解會用左there have been 呢?好怪喎。因為用when即係兩個分句中o既事件同時發生,所以i arrived 用past tense, 前面個句都可以. There were MANY (我認為many個意思好過a lot of) students and teachers when I arrived.

First, the M.C say that welcome to graduation dinner and thank teachers.
同中文一樣,你可以直接講"司儀歡迎(verb)我地" The host(s) welcomed us.
MC = Master of Ceremomies, 如果你係大會搞手,你可以叫司儀做mc,但如果你係觀眾,一般都會話主持人係host.
The host(s) welcomed us and gave a thank you speech to teachers.

Then, the M.C announced the buffet which was beginning.
呢句其實可以唔駛咁寫,因為大家都知個程序係咩,而且你之後都會講你食野情況;如果你想表現你好肚餓/或者你個目的就係食,你可以講 We couldn't wait to start the buffet.

There were much different kind of food such as dim sum, sushi, beef and desserts etc.
MANY different kindS (kinds -countable, so use "many")

I took some dishes and then came back my table for dinner.
你只係講緊兩個動作,用and己經有連接意思,所以唔好成日講and then
...and ate at my table. (已經明你番埋去食,唔駛寫come back, 就算你要寫,都係go back,因為你當時係buffet枱旁邊,要去(go)你遠方o既餐枱度食, come就係完全另一個意思)

Those food was very tasty so I ate a lot.
THE food ...

2008-07-05 00:15:10 補充：
因字數所限,不能解釋啦
... ONTO the stage AND SANG
...they sang BADLY, they MADE all students LAUGH.
Everyone was happy and entertainED.
I felt a little bit disappointED because it WILL BE difficult to see my classmates and teacherS after LAST NIGHT.

2008-07-05 00:15:50 補充：
Although they sang worse, they make all students have fun.
worse 應該唔係adverb, 係o個個位要係adverb
they (n.) sang (v.) ______ (adv.) 形容唱成點, 而且worse係比較(bad worse worst), 咁你要比較D咩呢?
所以係although they sang BADLY, they MADE all students laugh. /
although they sang badly, all students had fun.

2008-07-05 00:16:00 補充：
Everyone was happy and entertaining in the graduation dinner.
呢句無問題喎~~(拍手) 不過呢, 你個entertaining 即係講緊D同學仔好有娛樂性? 如果係就無問題啦
如果你想講佢地因為D節目而得到娛樂,咁你就要寫entertained. 或者你可以簡單地講everyone enjoyed the graduation dinner.

2008-07-05 00:16:07 補充：
I felt a little bit disappoint (disappointed先係形容詞;disappoint係動詞,呢度唔適用) because it was (will be因為你講緊將來) difficult to see my classmates and teacherS after LAST NIGHT.


如果呢篇係作文,你要留意你O既內容,揀一D最有意義O既野黎寫。記每件事都要似一個故仔咁,故事線要有起伏,好似一個山丘咁,要有高潮/最重要O既事,佔字數最多,形容得最詳細,其他無關痛癢O既唔駛寫啦~
不過你精神可嘉,加油!