改善英文行動二十七. 希望大家盡力幫忙

Why do you think some young people smoke?

Firstly, a lot of young people think that smoking is pretty cool so that it can increase their charm. Also, some young people think that they are different from other young people, so they smoke in order to tell OTHERS they are adults and have MATURED.

- 為免重複使用young people, 我改用OTHERS去取代。
- mature 本身就可以用作動詞, 所以改為have MATURED, 而have been mature 俾我理解 = 意思係「曾經成熟過」, 並非「己經成熟」。

Apart from that, some young people are INFLUENCED by their friends who smoke.
根據字典的解釋, effect當用作動詞的時候,並沒有「人影響人」的意思, 只解作執行/實施(計劃), 所以我改用influence。

Lastly, a part of young people smoke because of their curiosity.
根據字典的解釋, a part of並沒有部份(人)的意思。 我會建議選用”some”。

A part of 或 part of 通常用於死物 eg. Part of the ceiling collapsed.
就算用於人, 亦只是指一個人自己內心的某種感覺或意念 eg. Part of him wanted to die.

They want to know what the feeling of smoking IS, but AT LAST they GET addicted to smoking because smoking is difficult to give up.

- 請留意 : Is 的位置調了。
- What is the feeling of smoking? => They want to know what the feeling of smoking IS.
- Are addicted to 改為 Get addicted to (或者用become都可以), 令句子的動作感更強烈。

2008-07-03 02:57:23 補充：
俾多一個例子去參考

留意ARE => 先變為WAS => 再由subject (you) 的前面, 調位去subject (he)的後面。

1. She said to the man, "Where ARE you going?"
2. She asked the man where he WAS going.

你可到以下網址再求證一下
anan1.webnow.biz/subject/wonfa/lessons/lesson50.htm

2008-07-03 04:32:37 補充：
Also, some young people think that they are different from other young people, ...

在以上的句子中, 有另一個字可以代替young people, 以免重複使用而變得太單調, 就是peer (同輩 / 朋輩)

結果可以寫成
Also, some young people think that they are different from their PEERS, ...

我哋有時會用 peer groups

2008-07-03 22:39:45 補充：
你好! Happyaddlucky, 你可以到以下的英文討論區求證一下!!
www.addictionsearch.com/forums

他們正正用了此句子為標題
How do people first get addicted to these drugs?

通常我回答問題之前, 都會番查字典, 盡量確保我的答案是有根據和正確, 希望真正幫到發問者!! 至於要相信那一個回答者, 你必定要有自己一套的方法去下定論。

Why do you think some young people smoke?
Firstly, a lot of young people thought (認為) think(想) that smoking is pretty cool so that it can increase their charm. Also, some young people think that they are different from others young people, so they smoke and try in order to tell people they are adults and have been matured mature. Apart from that, some young people are effected by their friends who smoke. Lastly, a part of young people smoke because of their curiosity, they want to know what is the feeling of smoking, but they fell (墮入) are addicted to smoking at last because smoking is difficult to give up.
Comments:
1. Very good thinking and grammar.
2. Tried to use less repeating words, such as young people. (我看過No 2 亦有相同建議)
3. with yellow (to omit). With green (substituted word suggested)
4. Just to 交流拼究, 不至在分數.

Why do you think some young people smoke?


Firstly, a lot of young people think that smoking is pretty cool and (use “and” but not “so” because if you use “so” – you have to extend the latter part of your sentence to be : ….is pretty cool so they smoke in order to increase their charm. This sentence structure has a relation of *reason – result”.) that it can increase their charm. Also, some young people think that they are different from other young people, so they smoke in order to tell people they are adults and (no need to use have been) mature. Apart from that, some young people are affected by their friends who smoke. Lastly, a part of young people smoke because of their curiosity. They want to know what is the feeling of smoking, but they are addicted to smoking at last because smoking is difficult to give up. (You can also tell the reason why it is difficult to give up, e.g. because cigarette contains nicotine and it is difficult to give up.)

Organization : 9/10
Grammar : 9.5/10
Content : 10/10
Vocabulary : 8/10