幫我睇下grammar mistake丫..chinese cinderella

Good morning everyone. I am going to introduce to you a book called “Chinese Cinderella” written by Adeline Yen Mah.
I believe all of you have heard of the Western story of a poor girl, Cinderella, when you were young. But have you heard of the Chinese Cinderella? Now, I am going to tell you the true story of an unwanted daughter, the autobiography of Adeline Yen Mah, which I am sure will touch your heart.
Adeline’s mother died just a few days after her birth, and people started treating her like dirt as she was labeled as bad luck. As the youngest of her five siblings, she not only suffered the worst at the hands of her stepmother but was also loathed by her three brothers and sister. Once her third brother even told her:
“Mama died giving birth to you. If you had not been born, mother would still be alive. She died because of you. You are bad luck.”
She was frequently forgotten at school and her father even mis-spelt her name when filling out her school record. Even though she was grades above those of her peers, it was only after she won an international play-writing competition in high school when her father finally took notice and granted her wish to attend college in England. Despite her parents’ heartbreaking neglect, she eventually became a doctor and realized her dream of being a writer.

1. Either 'introduce a book to you' or 'introduce to you a book' but not "introduce you a book'.
2. 'Have heard' instead of 'heard' and 'young' instead of 'small'.
3. Delete 'When she is born'. 'Her mother died just a few days after her birth. People started ....'
4. She cannot be the youngest of her siblings because she is not one of her own siblings. 'As the youngest of the five siblings....'
5. 'suffered' not 'suffer'. 'the most' not 'the worst'
6. 'was despised by' not 'being despise of'.
7. 'Her third brother had once told her'
8. 'would have been alive' instead of 'would still alive'. In a conditional sentence talking about things that have not happened in the past, we use 'would (or another modal verb) + present perfect tense' in the main clause.
9. She is ( change to was) frequently forgotten and (add 'left') at school. Delete 'and at the end of the day,'
10. 'forgot' insteand of 'forgets'.
11. 'filling in her school record form' instead of 'filling out her school record'
12. 'her grades were' instead of 'she is grades'
13. 'it was only' not ' it is only'
14. 'after she had won' instead of 'when she wins'
15. 'took notice' instead of 'takes notice'.
16. 'fulfilled her dreams' instead of 'grants her wish'
17. parents' insteand of parent's
18. 'became' insteand of 'becomes' and realized instead of 'realizes'

I am a private English tutor. The mistakes you have made are common among my students. You are doing fine. Don’t worry. Read more and review the grammar rules from time to time. Believe me, it really helps.

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Good morning everyone, I am going to introduce you a book which called “Chinese Cinderella” written by Adeline Yen Mah.
I believe that all of you have heard about the western story of a poor girl (no ,) Cinderella when you were small. But what about the Chinese Cinderella? Now I am going to tell you a true story of an wanted daughter, the (no the) moving autobiography of Adeline Yen Mah.
When she was born, her mother died just a few days after her birth, and people started treating her like dirt as she was labeled as sign of bad luck. Being (change from “as” to “being” because you used an “as” in the previous sentence) the youngest of the (change from “her” to “the” because you are using “youngest”) five siblings, she not only suffered the worst at the hands of her stepmother but also being despised of her three brothers and sister. Once, her third brother even told her: “Mama died by giving birth to you. If you had not been born, mother would still be alive. She died because of you. You bring bad luck to our family !”
She was frequently forgotten at school and at the end of the day, her father even forgot the spelling of her name when filling out her school record. Even though she was grades above those of her peers, it was only when she won an international play-writing contest in high school that her father finally took notice and approved her wish to attend college in England . Despite her parent's heartbreaking negligence, she eventually became a doctor and fulfilled her dream of being a writer.
Note :
- leave a space after a punctuation mark
- no space before a punctuation mark
- try to be more consistence in the tenses. Since you are telling a story, you should all use past tense except for a quoted conversation.