改善英文行動五. 希望大家盡力幫忙

It is an interesting question. First, I will give 20% of the amount to my parents because they look after me and offer fee for me to finish school. – (this sentence is not logical – you give them the money because they look after you and offer you school fee ? Not because they love you and so you want to give them a reward even though the reward cannot repay the love they gave to you ) Especially, their love is valueless ( valueless = no value, therefore, please remember to check the dictionary and be very careful about this kind of word because you are using Chinese thinking to interpret the meaning of this word. You can say : Even though their love cannot be replaced by any amount of money). Then, the other 20% of the amount I will prepare (better use reserve) for building up my business, because I want to be a boss (using which makes your sentence structure wrong) and this is my dream. Apart from that, I will give 5 % (no need to mention of the amount anymore) to my friends because they always chat (better use comfort me) with me when I feel unhappy. Lastly, I will donate the rest of the amount to charity organization. As everyone knows, there are a lot of poor families( no ,) which do not have enough money. So they feel hopeless when they are sick. Thus, this budget can help them and make them to turn a new leaf of their life.




2008-06-21 02:27:22 補充：
The question is asking - what will you do, so you have to use future tense.

It is a intersting question. If I got 100,000,000(not a real story, use past tense). l would give 20% of the amount to my parents because they brought me up and supported my education and their love is too much to me. Then I would use the 20% of the amount to set up my business. I want to be a boss which is my dream. Apart from that, I would give the 5% of the amount to my friends because they will talk to me when I am unhappy. Lastly, I would donate the rest to charities. As everyone knows, these are a lot of poor families, they have not enough money, so they feel hopeless when they sick. I think this amount could help them and make them turn a new leaf.

I think my English not better than yours, this is only for your reference.

Recently I often go to this web site, I think Siu Sir is quite a good teacher.
http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com/siu82english/article?mid=50

It is an interesting question. First, I would give 20% of the amount to my parents, who not only look after me but also pay for my tuition fees through my school age. Their love is priceless and I wish I could requite them with the best.
The next 20% of the amount would be used to fulfill my dream, which is to become a boss. With this budget, I would have capital for my business.
Apart from that, I would share 5% of the amount with my friends because they are the one who always chat with me and cheer me up.
Lastly, I would donate the remained amount to charities, so as to help the poor. As everyone knows, these are lots of needy all over the world. I hope the donated amount could give help and hopes to them.

It is a intersting question-It is an interesting.
offer fee for me to finish school-offer me to finish school
when I feel unhappy-felt
chairies-charities
leaf-live
these are a lot of -there
which have not money enough-which is destitute of money.
they sick-they are sick
Thus, this budget can help them and make them to turn a new leaf.
I hope these donation can help them to turn to a new live