希望大家盡力指出我錯處
狠心批改,不必留情.
並且希望說明錯的原因
感謝
The Internet is good or bad ?
As everyone know, using internet already have been a trend for people.
You can read news without buying papers on the internet, which is environment friendly. Also, you can using some softwares to chat with your friends or relatives immediately such as MSN and ICQ. What's more, you can play fash game on the game websites to relax yourselves. After from that, you also can be shopping online which is convenient to you.
On the other hand, youthes can surt the adult and violent websites which will affect their growing. Indeed, they may be addict in it. Addition, some people utilise the internet to cheat the money of the web friends, and hack their computer to get information for crime.
To conclude, the Internet is good or bad to people which is decided from you how to use it.
改善英文行動十三. 希望大家盡力幫忙
2008-06-19 6:49 am
回答 (3)
2008-06-19 1:15 pm
✔ 最佳答案
Is the Internet good or bad(1) ?As everyone knows(2), surfing the Internet(3) has already been(4) a trend for people since a long time ago(5).
You can read news without buying any newspapers(6) on the Internet, which is environmental(7) friendly. Also, you can use(8) some softwares to chat with your friends or relatives instantly through the Internet,(9) such as MSN and ICQ. What's more?(10) You(11) can play flash(12) games on some(13) websites(14) to get yourself relaxed(15). Last but not least(16), you can also(17) shop online which is a convenient way for(18) you.
On the other hand, youths(19) can surf(20) those erotic and violent materials contained(21) websites which will affect them psychologically(22). Moreover, they may get addicted to those websites because they are still too naive to receive those information(23).In addition(24), some people may(25) cheat the money of their web-friends(26) through the Internet and(27) hack in(28) their computers(29) to commit(30) crimes(31).
To conclude, I think the Internet is good for people because we are the only one who can decide how to use the Internet.(32)
To conclude, I think the Internet is bad for people because we still can live without computers but just causing us a little inconvenience, whereas a thousand of problems appeared which may cause social disorder after the discovery of the Internet.(33)
To conclude, whether the Internet is good or bad for people depends on how you use it.(34)
1.這雖是題目,但並不是一個正式的句子(statement),好明顯呢句係一句問句.所以要將動詞is放係開首
2.everyone係 singular(單數),所以要加 s
3.internet(互聯網)係專有名詞,所以要大楷
4.surfing the internet 係一件事,係單數,以佢做主語時助動詞have要變has
has already been =正確用法
5.你而家係用緊present perfect tense--has already been, 所以你要加時間說明--since a long time ago
6.你想講 唔洗買報紙--without buying any newspapers
7.environment 係名詞,要變形容詞
8.can 係 modal verb,後面要用infinitve form(原形動詞)
2008-06-19 05:16:50 補充：
9.immediately--要立刻地要做一件事,instantly--可即時地做
加 , 係因為你而家加插緊一d資料
10.這是一問句
11.變大楷
12.串錯了
13.你係講一些網站,而唔係指定的網站
2008-06-19 05:17:21 補充：
4.game一字係名詞,唔可以用黎形容網站.你要寫的話就要寫成類似--games-provided websites. 不過,有game 玩就係 遊戲網站 了,唔洗好似我地講中文咁啦
15.relax唔可以咁用,relax之前唔可以加prepositions.你亦唔可以講係由d games去relax你,應該講做玩games時令你relax
16.無after from that呢個短語(phrase),就算係after that都唔岩,因為after that係用黎說明步驟的,如: first,next,then咁.而呢個就係講緊: 到了最後但不是最後剩下的 既意思
2008-06-19 05:17:57 補充：
17.can also--正確用法
18.加 be 係被動式,你而家唔係被買,而係你去買野,所以唔好加 be. 我地講既shopping=去shopping=go shopping,所以shopping係一個動名詞,而唔係動詞. 用shop先岩
轉為is a convenient way for 會好d
19.加 s 先岩
20.串錯了
21.你想講 色情及暴力的網頁 太中文化了,應該係我咁寫先岩-- 含有色情及暴力內容的網頁
2008-06-19 05:18:13 補充：
22.你想講 會影響佢地既成長,又係太中文化了,應該寫成 心理地影響他們
23.indeed=其實,係呢度用係唔岩的.應該用一d有 還有,再者 意思既字
addict唔可以咁用,應該係 get addicted to先岩
你要寫埋個原因先得喎,如果唔係人地唔知你講緊咩.
24.in addition 先岩
25.因為係有可能會發生,所以加 may. 呢度成件事既主要動詞係cheat ,咁寫就直接d,同埋你咁寫好中文化
無指定的money
2008-06-19 05:18:36 補充：
26.寫為 他們的網友 ,因為web唔係形容詞,所以唔可以直接咁寫,要加 - .
27.我地唔係 用internet ,而係 透過internet. 唔洗加 , .
28.hack + in先岩
29.要加 s .
30.hack一字已有潛入其電腦及偷資料既意思,所以我地可以直接講 commit crimes--犯案
31.crime係名詞,加 s.
32.支持正方的寫法(其實可以再加多d野上去的)
33.支持反方的寫法(其實可以再加多d野上去的)
2008-06-19 05:19:02 補充：
34.我照你篇野就咁改的, 你想講 究竟internet對人類是好是壞 應該係前面加 whether. 唔係 to,係 for.因為係 good/bad for sb. 唔洗加 which,因為呢度唔係要為前面加描述,而係要寫 whether the internet is good or bad for people is 由.....來決定的 先岩. 如用 which 即係好似你用 who,where黎去描述前面既事物,例如: the man who is in a blue shirt is my uncle.
我覺得你上篇都好過呢篇,why???
2008-06-19 05:19:15 補充：
你呢個title係一篇議論文,點解最後寫成咁呢??? 你一定要簡一個立場, 如果唔係,你篇作文就有可能唔合格.
你唔識串字, 應該查下字典,唔好咁懶
你d英文真係好似我地講既中文,用中文黎講英文或用中文學/理解英文文法係錯的.
你應該先去好好再練好d grammar,之後先去做practice.如果唔係你一日作兩篇or一日作3篇都係無補於事的. 你更有可能因為用慣錯既grammar, 之後就更難改正的了.
2008-06-19 05:19:28 補充：
我諗你應該去組織一下學英文既計劃,之後再付諸行動啦,你咁樣會好浪費時間的.
例如: 第一個星期先溫返d grammar, 睇多d課外書, 因為我見你d vocab都唔多.睇多d書學多d生字對作文好好的.
第二個星期就做下練習,workbook之類的.再溫下睇下自己邊度唔明
最後就去作文,咁先可以提昇學習效率
2008-06-19 05:19:39 補充：
作完文記住要proof-read,如果唔係都係無用.
作文時如果真係遇到自己唔識既字or查唔到or唔識用,就唔好夾硬用,如果唔係就仲衰.應該用第二d字去嘗試解釋or寫過另一樣野.
ps 我頭先唔知禁左個咩制, 我打到去第29時得返去到第9個度..............好慘,打左三個鐘... ><....
最後,請給我評分吧~~~^0^
2008-06-20 02:22:40 補充：
係argumentative writing(議論文)中,最好用formal english(正式英文). short form就最好要避免啦.仲有係一d formal letters,例如 letter of complaint(投訴信) 都係
參考: 我自己, 希望真係可以幫到你~~ ^0^
2008-06-19 7:39 am
using internet already have been a trend for people ...........
Surfing the internet has been a trend
You can read news.................You read news
you can using some softwares to chat with your friends or relatives immediately ...............Softwares such as MSN and ICQ allow you to instant chat with your friends or relatives.
you can play fash game on the game websites to relax yourselves. After from that, you also can be shopping online which is convenient to you............................
(Is fash game a type of online game?)
Interactive entertainment, such as virtual games, brings you relaxation and excitement. In addition, online stores make shopping easier.
On the other hand, youthes can surt the adult and violent websites which will affect their growing. (what does it mean?)
On the downside, internet will bring about crimes and declines in social moral values. For example, people can now access inappropriate adult-oriented and violent websites easily. In addition, some people utilise the internet to cheat the money from their online acquaintances, or hack into the acquaintances' computers to collection information for criminal purposes.
To conclude, Internet has its pros and cons. It is up to the users to determine whether it is "good or bad"
Surfing the internet has been a trend
You can read news.................You read news
you can using some softwares to chat with your friends or relatives immediately ...............Softwares such as MSN and ICQ allow you to instant chat with your friends or relatives.
you can play fash game on the game websites to relax yourselves. After from that, you also can be shopping online which is convenient to you............................
(Is fash game a type of online game?)
Interactive entertainment, such as virtual games, brings you relaxation and excitement. In addition, online stores make shopping easier.
On the other hand, youthes can surt the adult and violent websites which will affect their growing. (what does it mean?)
On the downside, internet will bring about crimes and declines in social moral values. For example, people can now access inappropriate adult-oriented and violent websites easily. In addition, some people utilise the internet to cheat the money from their online acquaintances, or hack into the acquaintances' computers to collection information for criminal purposes.
To conclude, Internet has its pros and cons. It is up to the users to determine whether it is "good or bad"
2008-06-19 7:32 am
The following passage is corrected:
*Words in parenthesys() are corrections
**Words in Quotes remarks[] are explanations and suggestions.
"The Internet is good or bad ?
As everyone know(s) [everyone is singular], using internet (has already)[ use"has" instead of "have", noun and verb agreement][easier to put "already behind the verb]been a trend for (some) [better for the flow of the passage]people.
(We) [avoid second person description when we are dealing with instructional essay][ you can use first person "I" or "We" or Third person "He', "she", or "it"] can read news without (purchasing news articles) [advanced terminology] on the internet, which is a bless for the environment [here means it is a good thing for enviornment][the oringinal text says the internet IS enviornment!!!]. Also, (We)[same as above] can (use) ["using" is gerund, not appropriate when we only need a simple verb "use"] some softwares(, such as MSN or ICQ,) [ putting this phrase at the end of the sentence creates confusion, which is a misplaced modifier] to chat with (our) friends or relatives immediately. (Moreover) [that is poor English to say "What's more"], (we) can play (flash?) [I have no idea of the word "fash"] game(s) on the game websites to relax (ourselves). (Nevertheless) [Also bad to use what you have], (we) also can (go) [we are not "shopping", cannot use "be"][or you can just simply use "shop" instead of "be shopping"] shopping online(,) [ a sentence followed by a dependent clause started with "which" has to have a common to sepatrate the two of them] which is convenient to (us).
2008-06-18 23:34:07 補充：
On the other hand, youth [I took away the "es" because you don't need one][ The plural form of "youth" is "youths"] can (search) [wrong vocabulary] the adult and violent websites(,) which will affect their (development)[ advanced terminology].
2008-06-18 23:34:18 補充：
Indeed, they may be addict(ed) [use the verbal form of addict as participal as an adjective]. (In) (a)ddition, some people utilise the internet to cheat money (out0 [idism of English] of the web friends[no comma in between a complex sentence] (or) [you are talking about two different ideas here.
2008-06-18 23:34:27 補充：
You cannot use "and" as for equivilent clauses; you need "or" to introduce a new idea] hack (into) [you need a preposition here] their computer(s) [I bet there are more than one computers] to get information for (criminal purposes)[advanced terminology].
2008-06-18 23:34:31 補充：
(In conclusion)[you do not use an infinitive as transitional adverb], the (i)nternet(, whether it is good or bad, depends on how well we use it)[too many errors....]. "
2008-06-18 23:35:45 補充：
Sorry for the Quotation marks I used. The computer does not read the text as it is written.
Email me if you have any questions on it, or if you have more passage needed to be corrected.
*Words in parenthesys() are corrections
**Words in Quotes remarks[] are explanations and suggestions.
"The Internet is good or bad ?
As everyone know(s) [everyone is singular], using internet (has already)[ use"has" instead of "have", noun and verb agreement][easier to put "already behind the verb]been a trend for (some) [better for the flow of the passage]people.
(We) [avoid second person description when we are dealing with instructional essay][ you can use first person "I" or "We" or Third person "He', "she", or "it"] can read news without (purchasing news articles) [advanced terminology] on the internet, which is a bless for the environment [here means it is a good thing for enviornment][the oringinal text says the internet IS enviornment!!!]. Also, (We)[same as above] can (use) ["using" is gerund, not appropriate when we only need a simple verb "use"] some softwares(, such as MSN or ICQ,) [ putting this phrase at the end of the sentence creates confusion, which is a misplaced modifier] to chat with (our) friends or relatives immediately. (Moreover) [that is poor English to say "What's more"], (we) can play (flash?) [I have no idea of the word "fash"] game(s) on the game websites to relax (ourselves). (Nevertheless) [Also bad to use what you have], (we) also can (go) [we are not "shopping", cannot use "be"][or you can just simply use "shop" instead of "be shopping"] shopping online(,) [ a sentence followed by a dependent clause started with "which" has to have a common to sepatrate the two of them] which is convenient to (us).
2008-06-18 23:34:07 補充：
On the other hand, youth [I took away the "es" because you don't need one][ The plural form of "youth" is "youths"] can (search) [wrong vocabulary] the adult and violent websites(,) which will affect their (development)[ advanced terminology].
2008-06-18 23:34:18 補充：
Indeed, they may be addict(ed) [use the verbal form of addict as participal as an adjective]. (In) (a)ddition, some people utilise the internet to cheat money (out0 [idism of English] of the web friends[no comma in between a complex sentence] (or) [you are talking about two different ideas here.
2008-06-18 23:34:27 補充：
You cannot use "and" as for equivilent clauses; you need "or" to introduce a new idea] hack (into) [you need a preposition here] their computer(s) [I bet there are more than one computers] to get information for (criminal purposes)[advanced terminology].
2008-06-18 23:34:31 補充：
(In conclusion)[you do not use an infinitive as transitional adverb], the (i)nternet(, whether it is good or bad, depends on how well we use it)[too many errors....]. "
2008-06-18 23:35:45 補充：
Sorry for the Quotation marks I used. The computer does not read the text as it is written.
Email me if you have any questions on it, or if you have more passage needed to be corrected.
參考: Myself~~~
收錄日期: 2021-04-11 19:19:16
原文連結 [永久失效]:
https://hk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080618000051KK03046