急~英文改文~thank you

Your English is OK and mine is not perfect. Hope the following has helped to make your presentation better.


I expect to familiarize with learning practical skill of engineering and the prospect of the trade in society. I wish to practise engineering as I am currently partial to mathematics and physics. I believe putting engineering into practice would be beneficial for my occupation. Availing myself of joining this camp, I think I will get to know if I am suitable for becoming an engineer. I consider this camp to be a preparation for me to choose subject in University in future.

Moreover, I wish to take this chance to experience existence of university while my cousins have been sharing with me the joy in their accommodation. Also, I like the acquaintance of students from all corners of the school, so as to broaden my horizons.



After all, a friend of mine who is studying at the Department of Civil Engineering at HKUST served as a helper in this programme last year highly recommends me to join this camp. She tells me it would widen my perspective. I consider that this as a golden opportunity and am dying for participating in ‘CEECP 2008’. Thank you.

發問者的文章有太多 "我" 字, 這是部分學生寫作的通病, 而回答者也沒有對此問題作出改善建議.

I expect to get familiar(no izin) with the learning and practical skill of engineering and its prospect in the application of the commercial field. I want to pursue engineering because I am partial to mathematics and physics and I want to put them into practice in my occupation. Availing myself of joining the camp, I think I can know whether I am suitable for being an engineer or not. I believe I can be more prepared for choosing my subjects in the University in future.

I wish I can experience the life of studying in a university because my cousins always tell me how joyful in their period of accommodation in the Campus. Also, I want to make (no the) acquaintance with students from all parts of the school, so as to broaden my horizons and scope of view.

Moreover, my friend who studies in the Department of Civil Engineering at HKUST who was a helper in this program last year highly recommend (極力推介) me to join this camp. She told me that it would widen my perspective. I consider this as a golden opportunity so I am dying for participating in ‘CEECP 2008’ . Thank you for your consideration.