講幫我正下d文法,驚錯(15點)急用

Good afternoon everyone! My name is xxx from form xx
Do you know anything about Lightning?
If you don't,you shoud watch this documentary which is called Racing Planet Lightning.
In this documentary it talks about many facts relating to lightning.
Do you know? There are 2000 times of Lightning per second around the world ! (Here - stop for one second so people can be attracted by the numbers – 2000)
Lightning is very dangerous because it is very powerful. For example
it is treble in velocity than light(光速)and the heat is 30 hundred degree centigrade(攝氏度).
There were 400 people hit by lightning. So, lighting is very dangerous. But(here please stop for 1 second), (no it) just 10% of Lighting are from the cloud to the ground, so we always see the lighting inside the cloud. It is because there are 90% lighting are transferring from cloud to cloud.
After I watched this documentary, I am very afraid (no it is) because Lightning is very dangerous and I don't know how to keep myself safe when a lighting hit me. Luckily, in the documentary it also shows us how to stay away from the Lighting. (Here stop for 1 second)


Since lightings always (no to) hit the things which is sharp and tall, so if Lightning happens we should stay away from the things are sharp such as trees or metals. If possible we should get inside the car (no, it is) because cars have some instruments to defend the Lightning. I think this documentary is suitable for all people (no. It is) because it talks about many facts. It is a common knowledge for everyone.
This is the end of my presentation. Thank you .
(You may notice I change a lot of your comma (,) to full stop(.) This is for you to stop for a very short moment so that you are more like talking to people, instead of reading a paragraph.)

這是經改正的
Good afternoon everyone! My name is xxx form xx
Do you know anything about Lightning? If don't, you shall watch this film. (You want documentary or film?)
This film is called “Racing Planet Lightning”. It talks about many facts of Lightning.
Do you know? There are 2000 times of Lightning per second around the world?
Lightning is very dangerous and very powerful, for example
it is treble of velocity of light(光速)and 3000 centigrade(攝氏度).
There were 400 people hit by lightning. So, lighting is very dangerous. But, 10% of Lighting are form the clouds to the ground(????????), so we always see the lighting are inside the cloud ,it is because there are 90% lighting are could to colud(?????????). After I watched this film, I was very afraid because lightning is very dangerous and I don't know how to define the Lightning.
Lucky, the film showed us how to define the lighting. There are some ways to define Lightning. It is because lighting hits the things that are sharp, so if lightning occurs, we must get away from the things that are sharp. For example: trees and metals. We also must get inside the car, it is because the car have something for defining the Lightning. I think this film is suitable for all people. It is because this film talks about many facts of lighting.
So it’s the end of my presentation, thanks a lot!!

2008-05-26 23:37:10 補充：
快d選我做最佳. thx!

2008-05-26 23:37:44 補充：
????????????means I don't know what you talking about.