請幫幫忙看看我的文法有無錯~~我聽日同後日就要speaking exam la~~~

Good morning!My name is Tracy, I am a form 5 student in XXX High school. I am a representative of geography in my class. My hobbies are reading and travelling. My wish is to travel round the world.

There are 5 people in my family including my mom, my dad, my older sister, my younger brother and me. Although
I always quarrel with my brother, I care for him very much. We are a happy family. Recently, there is a news makes many people feel sad which is the Sichuan earthquake happened on May 12th. It was a very horrible disaster. Nearly five million people were killed by the Sichuan Earthquake. Because of this huge earthquake, numerous happy families were destroyed. Among those sufferers, some of them are parents who lose their children; some of them used to be happy kids but now turn to be orphans.

I know family is the most important treasure in life. Comparing the beautiful and happy lives we have, I feel very sad for those sufferers and pity them for the loss of their loved ones. In addition to donate money, I hope I can do more to help them. I can listen to them, comfort and encourage them to overcome this sadness. I really hope I can relieve their distress.


Hope this helps you! Good luck!

Good morning!My name is Tracy, I am a form 5 student in XXX High school. 要睇下你個校名eg 校簿 校章

I am a representative(指科代表,唔知岩唔岩) of geography in my class.
用subject coordinator好d
唔洗用my
-- i am the subject coordinator of geographyt in class.

My hobbies are reading and travelling.My wish is travel round the world.
--用i like or usually 去represent. my wish--轉成verb ，**少d is
I like reading and travelling.OR I usually read or travel around at my leasure time. I wish to travel around the world.

There is myself, mun ,dad,my sister and brother in my family.
-- There are

I am in the middle and my sister is the oldest ,my brother is the youngest.
-- my sister is the eldest one among three of us.
--my brother is the youngest though.

Although I always quarrel with my brother,but I care for him very much.
--although ..., i care OR I always...., but ....Although but 只可出現一個

We are a happy family.Recently, a news make many people feel sad.
--We are in a happy family. There's a recent news **makes lots of people **sad.

Sichuan has happened earthquake.It was very horible.Nearly five million people were killed by the Sichuan Earthquake.
-- Sichuan occured earthquake.

Some of them are student and their parent lost their daughter or son.
-- their parents, daughters, sons

many people also lost family,lover and home. many happy family was destroyed by the earthquak
-- x also , their families, families were ...., earthquake

I know family is the most inportant in life.
--the 後冇左個noun , x i know, 這是中文直轉英文
--egfamily is the most *important thing in life.

Although I born in a happy family,but I understand their feeling of lost relations . In addition to donate money,I hope I can do something to help them .
-- i was born , 但這用i live in a....好d，你句句子冇咁中文
--一樣although..., xbut or x although, but...
--of losting
--這不會用in addition，如果要用，咁改成 in addition, i hope i can help them by donating money.

I can listent to them,comfort and encourage them.I really hope I can relieve their distress.
-- listen to, comfort......

Good morning, My name is Tracy. I am a Form 5 student in (用返你自已間中學個名, 包冇死). I am a representative of subject-Geography in my class. My hobbies are reading and travelling. My wish is to travel around the world.
There are 5 members in my family, including me, my dad, my mom, my sister and my brother. My sister is the eldest(形容家庭裏排行最大, 用eldest, 唔用oldest) and my brother is the youngest. Although I always quarrel with my brother, (唔要but, 故事書好多都有but, 但係唔合乎最正統的英文文法) I care for him very much. We are therefore a happy family. Recently, there is a news that Earthquake happened in Sichuan, making many people sad. It was very horrible that nearly eighty thousand people(你原本寫咗5百萬人死! 但係其實冇咁多) died in the disaster. Some of them are students and their parents lost their child. Furthermore, many people lost their families, lovers and home. Many happy families were destroyed by the earthquake.
Family is the most important thing. Although I was born in a happy family, I understand how sad is their feeling while losing family member(s)! Apart from the money donation, I hope I can do something to help them. I can listen to them, comfort and encourage them. I really hope I can relieve their distress.

修改:

Good morning! My name is Tracy, I am a form 5 student from XXX High School. I am a representative of my geography class. Reading and traveling are my hobbies. It is my wish to travel around the world.

There are my dad, mom, brother and sister in my family. My sister is the oldest, I am the second and my brother is the youngest. Although my brother always quarrel with me, but I still care for him very much. We are a happy family. Recently, there was a news which made people feel sad. Sichuan had an earthquake. It was very horrible. Nearly 5 million people were killed by the Sichuan earthquake. Some of them are students, and some of them are parents who lost their sons or daughters. Many other people also lost their families, lovers or homes. Many other happy families were also destroyed by this earthquake.

I know that family is the most important thing in our lives. Although I never experience the sadness of the Sichuan people, but I still understand their feeling of losing relatives. I want to donate money to the Sichuan people, because this is a chance of helping the unlucky people who experienced this disaster. I really hope that I can relieve their distress.

[完]

希望可以幫到你!

1.My wish is travel round the world.
is to travel /travelling 唔會double verbs

2.There is myself, mun ,dad,my sister and brother in my family
There are four menbers in my family ,including father mother elder sister,
younger brother and me)

3.always 應該轉做usually or sometimes otherwise 變左 你日日同佢argue 感

4.horible>horrible

5.parent>parents

6.inportant>important

7.born係生,所以應該係was born

8.something (more)做多d野

9.relief >release

Good morning!My name is Tracy, I am a form 5 student of XXX High school.I am a representative of geography in my class. My hobbies are reading and travelling. My wish is to travel around the world.

In my family, I have a dad, a mum, a sister and a brother. I am
in the middle and my sister is the oldest ,my brother is the youngest.Although
I always quarrel with my brother,but I care him very much. We are a happy family.Recently, there is a news making many people feeling sad.An earthquake has happened in Si Chuan.It was very horible. Nearly eighty thousand people were killed by the Earthquake. Some of them are students and their parents lost their daughters and sons.Many people lost their families,lovers and homes.Many happy families were destroyed by the earthquake

I know family is the most inportant thing in life.Although I was born in a happy family,I understand their feeling of losing relatives . By donating money,I hope I can do something to help them .I wish I can listen to them,comfort and encourage them.I really hope I can relieve their depress.