想問以下文章的文法有無錯

Today,I met a foreign person in the lift.
今日，找係部升降機上遇到一位外國人。
Since my English was horrible, I was afraid to speak!
但係，我既英文好差，所以我好驚去講。
And then he asked me if i was going up or down.
之後佢問我上定落。
I replied to him and said``going up``.
我同佢講「上的」
``which is your company floor ?`` he asked again.
佢又問:「你幾樓呀?」
``21,and you?``I said.
我話:「21你呢?」
``here,17``he said.
佢話:「到啦17樓」
At that moment, the lift door was open and he went out.
呢個時候，部升降機隻門打開咗同埋佢出咗出去.
``Good-bye!``he said.
佢話:「再見啦!」
I thought if he asked me more questions ,I would not know how to answer him.
找諗如果佢再問我更多野，我都唔知點簽佢.

Because you are talking about earlier today, so you need to use Past-Tense.

現在和你分析一下：

Today,I met a foreigner in a lift.(通常叫foreigner而不叫foreign person這麼累贅，而且lift是可數名詞，所以要加冠詞）

But my english is very horribly poor so I was afraid to speak!(was afraid to speak是過去的心情，所以，要用過去式）

And then he asked me whether I went upstairs or downstairs.
之後佢問我上定落。(upstairs, downstairs才是副詞）

"upstairs." I replied.

"which floor is your company ?" asked he again.（要用倒裝法inversion）

"21st, and which is yours?" said I.

"Here, 17th." said he.

At the moment, the lift door opened and he went out.

"Good-bye!" said he.

If he had asked me more, I would not know to answer.

希望幫到你！

2008-05-22 11:54:54 補充：
對不起，copy and paste所以，有點沒有改


第二句應該是
But my english is horribly poor so I was afraid to speak!(was afraid to speak是過去的心情，所以，要用過去式）

2008-05-22 11:57:35 補充：
漏了一字
If he had asked me more, I would not know how to answer.

2008-05-22 19:57:21 補充：
還有一點：But my english is horribly poor...
若說成：But my english was horribly poor...就是說：當時英文勁差，但現在未必
但若說成：But my english is horribly poor...就有意思說：直到現在，英文都是勁差

Verygood !!! I am a foreign person