(英文勁人)中轉英...見工面試..唔該!!!急!!!

你好! 我叫xxx。今年20歲，我同家人(父母, 弟)住o係粉嶺。
Good morning/afternoon, my name is XXX, and I’m twenty years old. I live with my parents and my brother in Fan Ling.

我今年中7畢業, 主修文科, 我最好既科目係中文。
I’m a Form 7 graduate and major in art. My favourite subject is Chinese(or Chinses Language and Culture)

我有好多愛好, 例如打羽毛球, 聽音樂, 畫畫。
I’ve lots of hobbies, such as playing badminton, listening to music and painting.

o係工作方面中, 我曾經o係xx公司任職sales 六個月 。
As for working, I’ve been a salesman in XX Company for six months.

我o係 貴公司網頁中睇到有關呢份工既空缺, 我對呢份工好有興趣, 而且 貴公司o係香港是一間有規模的大公司, 有良好的福利, 進升機會, 所以我決定申請呢個職位。
I’ve seen the recruitment post in your company’s website, and I feel greatly interested in it. Moreover, your company is one of the biggest companies in Hong Kong, having good welfare and high chance of promotion. Therefore, I’ve decided to apply for this position.

雖然, 我冇乜工作經驗, 但係我份人性格積極主動, 願意學習, 相信可以勝任呢個職位。
Although I don’t get much work experience, I’m an active person and willing to learn. So, I definitely believe that I can do it well.

若貴 公司肯請我, 我一定會係崗位努力工作，而且願意進修有關銀行我課程。
If you can kindly recruit me, I’ll certainly work hard on the job and will be ready to take some banking courses.

多謝 閣下今次畀機會我進行面試。
Thank you for giving me an opportunity to interview.

2008-05-20 20:54:29 補充：
hope can help u...

but I advise u that you need to improve your English as If you want to be a teller for a long time or even want to be promoted, your ability on English is greatly expected.

So...if you are successful, working hard and + oil!

good luck ;)

Good morning, I am XXX, 20 year' s old, a F.7 graduate. I live in Fenling with my parents and brother. I studied Arts subjects and Chinese is my best subjects.
I am an active person and got various interests. For example playing badminton, listening to music and drawing. Though i am only a F.7 graduate, i got a 6-months working experience as a sales.
i got this job information from the web site of your company and i am interested in it. There are few reasons for appling: first, this is a good comany (with a goodwill). second,the wekfare is good. Third, there is propecst of promotion.
Though my working experience is liminted,/ Despite my liminted working experience, i am willing to learn and can be easily adapted to new environment. I think i can do this job well.
If i am employed, i promise i will do my best for the job and upgrade my by taking extra courses .
Last but not least, thanks for giving this interview opportunity.