各位高手幫我英文改文

Moving to SAN GABRIEL
If you want to move to another city and don’t have any ideas, I can recommend you a city. It is San Gabriel. Many Chinese are living here. You can try the most delicious food and enjoy Chinese festivals here.

First of all, let me talk about food. Since there are many Chinese here, many Chinese restaurants are opened. I heard about the highest grade of food is the western-style food, but the most wonderful food is Chinese one. Since the food quality is excellent so you don’t have to worry about it. You only have to consider what food to eat because there are different styles, such as Gugon Food, Sichuan Food and Shanghai Food, etc. The prices are not satisfactory. You can find the restaurant easily. (If you don’t believe, you must go there to see.)
Secordly, you can enjoy the two important Chinese festivals there. Lunar New Year and Lantern Festival are the main festivals for Chinese. Do you know what is red pocket and its meaning? Red pockets are little red envelopes with some money inside. According to tradition, people of younger generations will be given red pockets by the earlier generations. Red pockets symbolize good luck and blessings. Then, do you know why do people guess riddles? What does it symbolize? Riddles are questions on pieces of red paper under lanterns. They are similar to IQ questions. (你要说说點解D人会guess riddles 同埋riddles 嘅含義) If you move here, you will know more about them. This is a good opportunity to learn about Chinese culture.

Don’t hesitate! San Gabriel is an amazing city for you because it is full of Chinese atmosphere. Move to here right now!

2008-05-19 18:20:11 補充：
"我比較在意add more sentence!應該加d什麼句子? "
你有好多反問句 (e.g. What is red pocket?)，在作文方面係好嘅，但係唔好忽略呢篇係要你介紹，你要明白讀者係一个白痴，咩嘢都唔知嘅！雖然你知道答案，但係佢唔知。你應該用設問句(e.g. what is red pocket? Red pocket is.......)要俾個答案人哋。

2008-05-19 18:20:19 補充：
意見:
1. "eating" 如果用嚟做noun就比較肉酸，應該改用meals, food (睇情況)
2. "Because" 盡諒唔好用做開頭，應該改用since, as
3.標示語: first of all/ fristly (first 係錯) secondly (second is wrong) thirdly fourthly fifthly......
4. "If you don't believe me, then come and see!" 呢d句子比較口語化同埋無作用，反而令篇文肉酸D。呢d句子可以唔愛

2008-05-19 22:09:38 補充：
Sorry, 打錯，應該係:
3.標示語: first of all/ firstly (first 係錯) secondly (second is wrong) thirdly fourthly fifthly......

第一段用first of all,...無問題...
不過,第二段就唔可以用secondly囉...
除非你第一段用Firstly....跟著先可以係第二段用Secondly,...第三段用Thirdly..如似類推...如果唔係就用其他,第二段用What is more....第三段or最後一段...finally/the last but not the least...之類