幫我改文..20分~~~thx

The film is about (a) film( ) producer, Morgan Spurlock, who not only (tries to) show the adverse effects of eating fast-food but also raise(s) people(’s attention to it).

To find out the damage( ) of eating McDonald's meal( ), Morgan Spurlock ha(s) to eat three McDonald's meals (a) day (for) a month and (he) must agree to (up-size) (them) when (being asked).

After eating (the) meals (for) a few days, Morgan’s weight gain is (substantial / drastic / dramatic... etc.)(yet the condition of his health drops rapidly). Despite warnings from doctors and nutritionist(s), Spurlock decides to continue the experiment.

Eventually, he gain(s) 11.1 kg .He also experience(s) mood swings and liver damage.

After watching this thought-provoking documentary,
I was reminded (about) the adverse effect of eating fast food(, which
may led to health failure.) (It can be much worse than we expect). Moreover, I have (always) known the tricks that (advertisers often) use and the hypnotizing effects of (these advertisements) cannot be underestimated.

Morgan Spurlock('s act) impresses me (a lot).
It is (no) doubt that Morgan Spurlock is a brave and out-standing (man). I (admire) him very much (as the movie he made has served as a reminder) that we (are responsible for our own health and should stay away from fast-food). What an educational film he (has) made!


I like the fantastic and educational film very much .It (has brought people’s attention to eating too much) fast food.
Although the McDonald's meals are (irresistible to most people), we must be (clear-headed enough) to reject (or say no to) (such) food (sometimes).

I would like to recommend this film to my friends. As the film is though(t)-provoking and spreads (a message about the importance of health).

2008-05-18 01:15:12 補充：
I THINK YOUR ESSAY IS QUITE CLEAR AND WELL-ORGANISED OVERALL. HOWEVER, THERE ARE SOME WEAKNESSES IN IT. FOR EXAMPLE, SOMETIMES YOU FAIL TO USE ACCURATE VOCAB, SO THE PASSAGE SOUNDS VAGUE IN CERTAIN AREAS AND SOME MAY EVEN BECOME CHINGLISH (IMPROPER CHINESE ENGLISH).

2008-05-18 01:16:34 補充：
THE APPLICATION OF CONJUCTIONS IS QUITE OK, BUT THE GRAMMAR USAGE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH IN COMPARISON. IT SHOWS THAT YOU HAVE NOT FULLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT ENGLISH GRAMMAR IS ALL ABOUT.

ON THE WHOLE, I WILL GRADE YOUR PASSAGE 3/5.

KEEP IT UP!

Morgan Spurlock have (has)to eat three McDonald's ........................when anyone ask(asks) him ...................his(he) drop (drops)in health rapid(rapidly).

OK　

ｇｏｏｄ

我俾４分

冇錯