可以幫我改一改嗎??我覺段文個Tone 怪怪的~~PLXXXXXXXXXX (20 points)

In today's business environment, an intense/a keen competition between companies has come to force each company to further extend closer relationship with customers . Trust is a key element in the constitution/the establishment of this relationship. One of the most famous theories - the commitment-trust theory of relationship marketing, was proposed by Morga and Hunt in 1994. This theory analysed inter-relationship between the key mediating variables and the relational exchanges of commitment and trust . There was a study trying to test the trust model in a specific industry to support the concept of commitment-trust relationship related to antecedents and consequences.
Trust is of great importance to banking services which is involved with large and most complicated deals of financial products ( Bejou and Palmer, 1998). Therefore, this study aims at investigating how the key mediating variables will affect the development of trust relationship between customers and service providers in the retail banking sector(Business to Commerce) in Hong Kong . Moreover, this study presents a useful analysis and comparision on the main antecedents of trust related to the operative environment online of different banking service sectors. The findings also provide useful information for banking service providers to further extend relationship with customers .

Hope this helps !

好多謝各位意見~~好有用arararar~~~~~~~~~~

just some advise..i hope that might help
an essay should consist of an intro, body paragraphs, and a conclusion
you should have a thesis, concluding the introduction.
Starting from "One of the famous theories...", it is an example.
It better goes to the body paragraph

"...build the closer relationship with customer. Trust is a key element to constitute this relationship. " this sounds weird
trustfulness is based on the quality of a good or service
i think quality is the key to build this relationship, not trust

you have written two paragraphs.

the first paragraph talks about the importance of trust and introduce a

famous theory.

the second paragraph also talks about the importance of trust and further

explain the theory.

i think you have stressed more on the theory .but the title is talking

about the importance of trust. so you may give more examples on

the importance of trust.