anyone need 10 points?

2008-02-29 2:16 am
essay for world studies! doesn't matter if u don't know anything about it. i can't fit the whole thing on here, but please help me make this last paragraph flow better. its rlly short, thx!

Outsiders, or in other words barbarians, attacked Rome numerous times. When they did, they destroyed farmland and homes, forcing people to find new shelter. Striving to protect Rome, armies fought the invasions and had been previously successful in keeping out Germanic tribes, but were not as effective against the barbarians. The barbarian invasions continued to occur, for the Huns, from central Asia, were moving into the Germanic lands. Searching for protection and shelter, Goths and Vandals fled the Empire. Sassinids, a new power in Persia, attacked from the north and east. Seeing that Rome could not defend the north and east, Rome was destroyed.

回答 (6)

2008-02-29 2:29 am
✔ 最佳答案
Outsiders, more commonly known as Barbarians, attacked Rome numerous times, destroying farmland and shelter, forcing people to find new shelter. Having been successful in fending off Germanic tribes, armies were less successful in protecting Rome against the Barbarians. The Hun-led Barbarian invasions stretched from central Asia to Germanic lands.

The rest of what youve written sounds fine.
2008-02-29 10:24 am
There were countless attacks by foreign barbarians on Rome. Whenever they attacked, they destroyed farmland and homes, forcing people to relocate and find new shelters. Striving to protect Rome, armies fought the invasions using tactics that had been previously successful in keeping out Germanic tribes, but were not as effective against the barbarians. The barbarian invasions continued to occur, for the Huns, from central Asia, were moving into the Germanic lands. Searching for protection and shelter, Goths and Vandals fled the Empire. Sassinids, a new power in Persia, attacked from the north and east. Although they fought valiently, Rome could not defend agaist the relentless attacks from the north and east, and Rome was destroyed.

(quick, but it should flow a little better)
2008-02-29 10:34 am
Well, the thinking is good, but you're right--the ideas don't seem to follow each other logically. Putting things in order:

1. The Roman armies had sucessfully kept out the Germans but--

2. The Huns moved into the German lands and the Germans fled for the Empire.

3. The Sassinids were also attacking from the north (???) and east

4. Rome was unable to defend itself and fell.

You don't really need the rest of it. Just string together these ideas and you're in business.

Note: It might improve things if you explained a little about why Rome couldn't defend itself and a litle about the complexity of the relationship between the Romans and the Germans--for instance, Germans formed most of the Roman army when it fought the Huns, but that's up to you.
2008-02-29 10:25 am
well,i'm not up to Rome yet,i'm learning ancient china now,rome is my next lesson.
2008-02-29 10:20 am
nah but i'll take the two points..thanks
2008-02-29 10:25 am
satruday
參考: world dicionary


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